Hello all. I have been addicted to porn for a long time. I feel really messed up. I'm trying nofap in order to improve myself in many ways. Physical health and mental health are things I'm looking for but the top priority is my marriage. I want to improve my relationship with my wife. It seems like every time I try to open up about myself, I end up saying things to her that are things that I don't like about her. She's about had it with me. She said that she thinks that I would be better off without her. I thing counseling is in my future.
By the way. I'm age 57 and she's 55. We've been married for 26 years. she knows of my addiction and has been very patient. I've been MOing longer than PMOing.
Welcome. If you haven't seen it already I highly recommend FANOS to improve communication. The A (affirmation/appreciate) will help you get into the habit of saying something positive about your wife and I (ownership=sorry) will help you make amends. See my signature for links. (If on a phone, turn it sideways to see) My husband quit looking at porn, with a few short term relapses, 7 years ago. It wasn't enough. Our marriage was almost dead when he finally found nofap. We now realize that porn still had a hold on him because he was MOing, fantasizing and objectiflying women. If your wife is open to it, I highly recommend a hard mode reboot. After a few weeks we started expirimenting with karezza, again, see link in my signature. Ironically it's has been difficult to not O but it has supercharged our sex life. Still, my husband has now gone more than 50 days without O. Me, not so much. You can do normal mode with sex with your wife of course but dispite my fears I'm so glad we did hard mode! Your wife if welcome here too and we have a private group for SOs as well as one for addicts in serious relationships.
