P Addicted Now HOCD Sufferer

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by YoungGunner00, Jun 17, 2020.

  1. YoungGunner00

    YoungGunner00 Fapstronaut

    27
    7
    3
    So I Was Thinking About Posting This Because I Cannot Get Any Help On r/hocd. I'm a 20 year old male and I'm heavily porn addicting since i was 12-13 years old i never stopped masturbating and watching porn since then. I m straight all along in my life i used to sleep with girls, sexting them as much as i can i was fond of sex until i found my soulmate its been 3 years with her we enjoyed sex and we love each other very much. In the end of 2019 as i said i was a heavy porn addict i i want test myself if i get orgasm by sexting a gay or not i had never done that but i wanted to try it. I sexted a gay and i masturbated . Then i was terrified if I've done something wrong then the thought went away after some days i thought to test myself again then i imagined a gay friend of mine getting fucked by me then i masturbated. It was all going fine i was thinking I'm a bisexual and i was okay with it no intrusive thoughts and no anxiety and all. But in 2020 after 2 months of lockdown in june i was very stressed if I'm turning gay or not. Having intrusive thoughts, compulsions, anxiety, everybody told me to accept the fact that I'm gay i tried to accept it but deep down my gut feeling says I'm not. Now i don't have any attraction to girls. Sometimes attraction is there sometimes isnt. I tried to recheck myself by watching gay porn only 1 time i got erected and that porn didn't have any interesting thing to orgasm. I recently watched a gay movie based on there love and marriage but i didn't got romantic and aroused by it. It was a normal movie. So guys what's the problem? I cannot accept it, i cannot overcome it
     
  2. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

    384
    425
    63
    You should focus on removing gay porn from your life. And stop "trying" yourself. I don't think you are gay or bi if there is a lot of stress involved and zero romantic feelings.
     
  3. YoungGunner00

    YoungGunner00 Fapstronaut

    27
    7
    3
    I was clearly overthinking today so i found out when i was a kid i used to bath with my male cousin and as i said i m porn addict so i used to get boners but i never tried to kiss him or feel romantic Because i get grossed out and all i i was ejaculate during the bath thinking about a girl. This happened max 2 times. I also have a history with girls when i feel romantic with them and trying to kiss them. But i didn't felt anything like romance or sexual towards my cousin or any male what are ur opinions
     
  4. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

    606
    250
    43
    If you feel regret after cumming then probably not gay.
     

Share This Page