Performance Anxiety with GF?

I think your problem is that you're looking at this whole thing like the goal is to be able to have sex like a king and perform like a normal guy who really likes his girlfriend and finds her sexy and attractive. But the problem is your dick won't obey you.

The reason is because your dick doesn't follow orders. Your body actually doesn't follow orders at all. Your hormones cause you to feel things you might not want to.. You breathe without giving your lungs permission to do so. In short your body does what it wants in its own according to its needs. Which is also why you can get turned on at times you aren't prepared for.

The best you can do is try to "persuade" your body to do what your kind wants. Like keep your dick hard. But what you're trying to do isn't persuading. It's forcing and putting expectations on.

The thing is you need to see maintaining an erection like any other acquired skil. It takes practise. It's not something you can turn on or off because you want it to. Just because you can click your finger when you want to doesn't mean that your entire body works like that. Erections are far more complicated.

Your next step should be that you totally abstain from PMO and aim to make it indefinite. That is, you don't plan to it again on your own.

You're trying to rush something that takes a very long time to build up to. At the moment you don't have a whole lot of experience with sex and your brain is mostly wired to enjoy things you can get on your own. So when it comes to being with your partner, you're thinking about yourself again like you're on your own. "Oh my dick this" or "Oh my dick that".

If your girlfriend is so amazing, sex shouldn't be that important and neither should your capacity to maintain an erection. You both need to stop putting the erection and sex as the centre goal here and just focus on having fun. Do oral sex for your girlfriend. Learn what she enjoys and do it with her. Forget about your dick for a minute and enjoy actually just being in a relationship where you can be naked with someone.

Don't reward yourself with masturbating. All you are doing then is tuning your body to focus on you and you only.

Most men report that the main thing that makes them hard is their partners enjoyment of what they see doing at the time. It's no wonder you can't stay hard if all you're thinking about is mostly you and your dick and why isn't it doing what you want.

Take it easy. Stop masturbating because it definitely isn't helping. Stay away from porn and appreciate the fact that you're halfway there. You have a partner that apparently doesn't expect a perfectly functioning dick at the moment. Appreciate that by not poisoning your success by masturbating when she isn't around.

Other than that. Think not about what your dick can do for you but what you can do for it. At the moment it doesn't seem like you like and respect your dick so it's not going to work the way you want. In fact you're using it purely for yourself.

Get to know your partner's body and likes in the meantime. Remove the expectations. Times. Dates and deadlines and have fun. Just like you can't learn how to play a guitar in a day. You can't learn how to work together with your dick in just a day either.