PMO after breakup + loneliness

FZL · Jan 25, 2024

THIS TEXT IS A BIT MESSY SORRY IM CONFUSED AND NEED TO LET IT OUT

Hey guys,
my gf broke up with me after 1,5 years. Last months were hard on her (or so I thought), so I tried my best to comfort her and be there for here. She broke up with me during winter holidays, and said she needs a break and doesn't want this to be a breakup and that she loves me etc... I was angry I told here I don't want to be friendzoned, but eventually I gave in and agreed on a break, only to find out less than 7 days later she has new bf with whom she was already spending time for last 3 months without my knowledge...

So on new year I started working out everyday, usually twice a day because I have big trauma from this and can't sleep. I started PMO 7 days ago and the trauma comes back even though its already a month. I feel so lonely... I know I'm doing good for myself by working out, reducing social media time, no PMO, but I feel like I have to have gf so I can start building family.

I study on a good uni and for past few days my new fear is that I'll be working corporate job and won't find a gf thus create family...

I don't know how too deal with this feeling. I feel so lost.
And don't get me wrong I never had a problem to find a girl, but in this situation I feel so vulnerable.

I tried my best for this girl and just got played. Even our families became close, and before I met here I was a good friend to here close relatives...

tsukuyomi16 · Jan 25, 2024

Fzol said: ↑

THIS TEXT IS A BIT MESSY SORRY IM CONFUSED AND NEED TO LET IT OUTĚ

Hey guys,
my gf broke up with me after 1,5 years. Last months were hard on her (or so I thought), so I tried my best to comfort her and be there for here. She broke up with me during winter holidays, and said she needs a break and doesn't want this to be a breakup and that she loves me etc... I was angry I told here I don't want to be friendzoned, but eventually I gave in and agreed on a break, only to find out less than 7 days later she has new bf with whom she was already spending time for last 3 months without my knowledge...

So on new year I started working out everyday, usually twice a day because I have big trauma from this and can't sleep. I started PMO 7 days ago and the trauma comes back even though its already a month. I feel so lonely... I know I'm doing good for myself by working out, reducing social media time, no PMO, but I feel like I have to have gf so I can start building family.

I study on a good uni and for past few days my new fear is that I'll be working corporate job and won't find a gf thus create family...

I don't know how too deal with this feeling. I feel so lost.
And don't get me wrong I never had a problem to find a girl, but in this situation I feel so vulnerable.

I tried my best for this girl and just got played. Even our families became close, and before I met here I was a good friend to here close relatives...
Click to expand...

Shes an evil girl for cheating on you.

I_Am_Strong_54 · Jan 26, 2024

I had a similar situation years ago where I was dating a girl and she cheated on me. We were together about 9 months, had the conversation that we would not see other people, exchanged "i love you" and talked about a future together. Towards the end of it, I could tell something was different although she denied anything had changed. And then one day her Facebook profile pic changes to her sitting on some dude's lap. Was I upset? Yes, but surprisingly I was not as upset as you would think, probably because it just confirmed what I had thought was going on.

I took that whatever anger I felt and really turned it towards my workouts. I had some of the most intense lifting sessions at the gym. Most importantly I told myself that what she did was a reflection on her, not on me. I would say the same thing about your ex. And also keep in mind if you're with someone who will cheat on you after a committed time together then she is not worth your time. If she did it to you, she'll probably do it to this next guy too. My advice to you is to focus on yourself for a little bit of time and heal from this relationship. Keep working out, keep studying and getting good grades in school, and after a bit of time (only you will know when you are ready), start getting yourself out there. When you do, I would not worry too much about finding the girl you will marry and start a family with, just go out and have fun and enjoy your time with them.

FZL · Jan 26, 2024

I_Am_Strong_54 said: ↑

I had a similar situation years ago where I was dating a girl and she cheated on me. We were together about 9 months, had the conversation that we would not see other people, exchanged "i love you" and talked about a future together. Towards the end of it, I could tell something was different although she denied anything had changed. And then one day her Facebook profile pic changes to her sitting on some dude's lap. Was I upset? Yes, but surprisingly I was not as upset as you would think, probably because it just confirmed what I had thought was going on.

I took that whatever anger I felt and really turned it towards my workouts. I had some of the most intense lifting sessions at the gym. Most importantly I told myself that what she did was a reflection on her, not on me. I would say the same thing about your ex. And also keep in mind if you're with someone who will cheat on you after a committed time together then she is not worth your time. If she did it to you, she'll probably do it to this next guy too. My advice to you is to focus on yourself for a little bit of time and heal from this relationship. Keep working out, keep studying and getting good grades in school, and after a bit of time (only you will know when you are ready), start getting yourself out there. When you do, I would not worry too much about finding the girl you will marry and start a family with, just go out and have fun and enjoy your time with them.
Click to expand...

Thanks man, I really needed to hear this.
I know this all along in my hearth, but It's just hard. Knowing that you won your battle will help me to win mine. (I hope)

nomo · Jan 26, 2024

I always liked a gf in my life and have had my heart broken a few times. That being said, you sound too dependent on having a gf. Try to chill out, relax, go out to have fun, treat women as friends, and in no time you will be back with a better gf. Don't sweat the future of not having a gf and not being able to start a family. If you worry about the past you are depressed, if you worry about the future you are anxious. Be in the present and enjoy today and that will bring you all you need in this life.

Good luck, once you start going out and having fun the girls will be there for you.

FZL · Jan 26, 2024

nomo said: ↑

I always liked a gf in my life and have had my heart broken a few times. That being said, you sound too dependent on having a gf. Try to chill out, relax, go out to have fun, treat women as friends, and in no time you will be back with a better gf. Don't sweat the future of not having a gf and not being able to start a family. If you worry about the past you are depressed, if you worry about the future you are anxious. Be in the present and enjoy today and that will bring you all you need in this life.

Good luck, once you start going out and having fun the girls will be there for you.
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Thank you for those words, every positive thread helps me so much.

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PMO after breakup + loneliness

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