PMO

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Danny1999, Nov 29, 2017.

  1. Danny1999

    Danny1999 Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone, okay so long story short at around I'd say 11-13 more likely 13 I started watching porn. Masterbating constantly, even to this day I still do. 1 or more times a day. However I found this website about a month ago. I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year, it will be a full year in 50 minutes actually! :) Anyways, we've tried to have sex... I just can't it's super super embarassing... I told her that I used to watch porn... but I still do... I feel like a lot of shame in this... I never had an orgasm before when I was with her when we did stuff like foreplay and stuff but no intercourse... Now, when I start PMO. Can I still do stuff with my girlfriend? I think I should tell her what I'm trying to accomplish. But I just feel embarassed and ashamed because I have lied to the love of my life. She means absolutely everything to me. When got to discussing the other day, and she never has masterbated at all, she only has got her pleasure from me. She doesn't understand why I masterbate, she says I shouldn't but only when I'm with her would that help? If I showed her this post and all of your responses, would she understand? I think if I showed her this, it would lift the burden off of me and I'd see some improvement in my sexual life with her. I just don't know where to start... I deleted every single bit of porn because it honestly digusts me when I look at it... I tell her I'm nervous, but I think it's more than just that. Because I have ED at the age of 18... Because I'm stupid and never really realized how bad it was... She said she would always be their for me... But I just don't know what to do... Should I just not masterbate and don't have an orgasm by myself and have my partner do it...? She's boosted my confidence a lot from things she said... But I just feel bad, because I've lied to her, I literally have ED at the age of 18, I can't maintain a erection for the life of me like I used to, it just sucks so bad... What are your thoughts on this? Please help, I'm currently into PMO for 5 hours and 58 minutes I've went longer if you look at my other posts. I just feel helpless... I don't want to lose her because of this and I've heard that from so many other people and I'm literally crying right now as I'm typing this... Our 1 year will be offical in about 40 minutes... So we've been together for a long time, I know I'm going on and on... But I just don't know what to do... It's got me so badly depressed it's unreal...
     
  2. Hi Danny! Thanks for sharing your story. I also had a girlfriend when I was 19 who said she had never masturbated. When I told her that I do, she was shocked and "forced" me to go to the priest for confession. As you might imagine, the relationship didn't last. Now I have been married to a wonderful woman for over 22 years. If I could love her more I am sure my heart would explode. When we were dating and I told her that I masturbated, she was OK with it and said that she had also a few times. After ten years of marriage I told her my darkest secret: that I also felt strongly attracted to men. After she was sure I loved her nevertheless, she accepted that in me too. A few years ago I told her that I still masturbate frequently, because I need more sex than we have together. Although she doesn't find the situation perfect, she accepted that in me too. So, if someone really loves you, they will accept you as you are and love who you are - a PMO addict - and not someone who they would like you to be or become.
    Good luck!
     
  3. Danny1999

    Danny1999 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing your story as well! As long as I don't fantasize about any fetishes and porn. Is it okay to masterbate when I'm with my girlfriend? Would that help? Maybe just reduce it to only 1 time every few days? Instead of multiple times everyday. Would that get me back to normal you think?
     
  4. Hi Danny,
    I can't really give you an answer for you, because everyone is different. I can just tell you about myself. I have tried uncountable times to reduce, as opposed to quit, jerking off. For me it just never works: I end up increasing again. The problem is, I just love the feeling of jerking off too much, I mean not just the orgasm, I suppose like someone who smokes loves the feeling of the cigarette between their fingers, on their lips, the smoke going into their lungs. So for me I figure I have to quit altogether, just as a smoker must quit altogether. Because like the smoker, although I am sure I will always love the feeling of jerking off and will miss it now that I've decided to stop, I love life more. I have been depressed and anxious since my early teens and I am 100% sure it is linked to the masturbation. This has totally fucked up my life: I was brilliant at school and at university, but depression and anxiety slowly but surely led to my current situation: unemployed and no fucking self-confidence to try to find a job. So I will give up something I love for something I love much more: my life.
    As for your girlfriend, my wife also doesn't want sex as often as I do. But that is because I have always gone about it the wrong way - I basically just let her know I am horny. But that doesn't get her horny enough. What always works is if I first give her my undivided attention, when she gets home, you know: "Hi Honey, I'm glad you're home, I've really missed you" ... big romantic kiss ... "How was your day?" ... really listen and be interested ... help making the dinner ... "You are so beautiful, I love you so much" ... kiss her on her lips, then her neck ... "Aah, you smell so great" ... Usually she will take it from here. Don't use exactly what I've written here - it should be true and authentic. What I'm trying to say is practice being patient for the sex and show her first how much you truly care for and love her. Most girls need that first.
    You say you have ED. After starting to use porn regularly, I started having problems getting and keeping a hard erection and my dick has become kind of insensitive/numb, so that I take forever now to cumm with my wife, partly because of the numbness and partly because my dick is too soft so that her pussy feels too wide. Sometimes I can't cumm at all. This didn't happen when I only used to jack off (sometimes every day) but didn't use porn.
    I hope this helps.
    David
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 1, 2017
    RedKingpin likes this.
  5. RedKingpin

    RedKingpin Fapstronaut

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    Hi Danny ! I can feel the pain you must have been going through. At first, quit PMO in any medium. As sex with real woman is okay to do with ejaculation. ED at early age is a temporary situation and just a few days of non PMO, you can feel the horniness returning back even if you do not watch porn. Keep constant cuddling and foreplays with your girl during these days. Please note that repeated failure to erect your dick can be shameful at these early days and affect your confidence, so do not try for intercourse atleast a week and keep only cuddling, kissing, touching etc.
    I tried the above and it brought fantastic results to me within 8-10 days. Try it and write back to us your experience. Good luck.
     
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  6. Danny1999

    Danny1999 Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone thank you for your responses! Me and my girlfriend have like a lot of foreplay and stuff and it's amazing! I'll try what you said, I basically all in all quit porn. So me and my girlfriend have been trying some new things. My confidence has gained alot more. I noticed I can stay harder for a longer period of time. Which is a good thing! Anyways I'll see how it is with no porn for 8-10 days and me and my girlfriend hang out alot. We usually do a lot of foreplay so I'll give you guys an update within a week or so! Thank you so much!
     
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