Porn Addiction/Intimacy Issues

I definitely have intimacy/trust issues but I never used porn to make a connection. I believe that it was actually the opposite. I felt disgust towards the girls in these videos. They would degrade and debase themselves for money, performing the most humiliating and depraved acts imaginable. I wanted to see them get treated in the worst ways possible. It reassured me that it was actually better off to be alone if this was what women were like.

Of course i knew to some extent back then that porn has very little basis on reality but at the time I didn't care because it meant I didn't have to face my problems. I buried my head in the sand.

 

I experienced the same thing. I was so addicted to porn that I got more pleadure from porn than sex. I had better orgasms with porn.

 

I'm sorry.

 

Yes it's true for me I don't think I've ever let myself be vulnerable with anyone. How a model or actress looks at the camera is spot on for me, it fed into my PAST fantasies where I wouldn't feel guilty if they looked into it. I would always feel like I wasn't human if I looked at a picture of a woman who looked liked a zombie or had to use drugs to get through some terrible take. Now that someone has typed this out it will help me resist even thinking about viewing P. Thank you so much for reminding me of something I unconsciously knew.

 

Thanks I'm watching it now.

 

Holy crap. Thank you so much for posting this video. What he said has truly resonated with me. Every time he said something, I thought "Yes, exactly".

I did understand before that I had issues with PMO, as well as with intimacy, being vulnerable and open with others. And while I thought they were reinforcing each other (feelings of loneliness and being unable to express negative emotions about oneself to others leading to PMO), I never realised how big the interconnection between those two were. Especially when he said that that addicts do not care about the body parts but rather the faces; man, spot on. I had a thing for pictures and most of them were just the faces of pretty women.

Feels liberating, as I think that I understand myself much better, because of what he said in the video. So once again, thank you for posting this, it has really helped me a lot.

Best,
hexotl