Hello everyone, I am italian and i am writing on this forum cause i couldn't find anything as good as this one in my motherlanguage, i apologize in advance for my poor english, hope you guys won't mind. I am 29 years old and i have been stuck with porn addiction since i was 14, when finding stuff on the internet was harder but not impossible yet. I have fastly developed a huge and insane interest in porn,and masturbating with it felt like something normal. When i got older i kept masturbating and i was always more attracted by that since i could access to videos and other kind of content in an easier way and they were better and more... satisfying. My normal sexual life has been conditioned by this bad habit and although i had some stories my insecurity and my shyness always kept me away from a stable relationship, the only stable one was the one with the free porns i could get daily. Things got worse when i started to use drugs too...at the beginning was just weed but then i got into cocaine and speed addiction, this made things a lot worse. Masturbating was not enough and one day, coming back from a rave i was full of cocaine and i decided to go and try with a prostitute...since i didn't have normal sex from at least one year cause of my issues with women. I was 22 and from that day i kept going to prostitutes for at least 6 years on a regular base, taking drugs at the same time to amplify the pleasure, i also used to to it several tmes in one day on cocaine going from one prostitute to another. It was not only a huge waste of money but the worst unhealthy habit i could have ever had. I started being worried about it and with time i managed to give up drugs and that helped me to control a bit more the prostitute sex craving. Unfortunatly i have never stopped although at least i was not in a sort of sex rampage going and having sex with multiple prostitutes on cocaine in less than 8 hours. I had developed a fetishism for women at least 10-20 years older than me with extremely large breasts, like the porns i used to watch more. I fortunatly started to to it less often and in that period i met the woman of my life and i am in love with her. At the beginning it felt like the relationship helped me to get out of that habit but i was wrong. I kept watching porn on a regular base and i also visited prostitutes 3 times in one year of relationship, and this is killing me inside. My girls knows about this situation and is trying to help me,althought i have cheated on her. I often have the urge to go and have sex with a prostitute to accomplish my fetishist craving, and i feel so dirty about it then rather than have sex with my gf i prefer to masturbate with porns, in order to not going to prostitutes. It's like i have internally divided love from sex, and i need to find a way to put them back together... I have not been watching any porn for 7 days now and sometimes i really have the urge to do it... i was wondering if i could have any advice or to follow a sort of online therapy, or anything that coudl help me to get out of this hell and save my relationship with the love of my life...thanx to everyone
Wow, that's is some extreme situation. I'm not really experienced in any of this but, if you got through drugs and stopped, then think of your self as a high willed person, and try to maintain yourself. You mentioned that you used to have issues with relation ships, and now you're in one and you even cheated. Just don't let the past repeat it self and put things to worse, think of the ones who love you and are there for you, and not only do it for yourself, which can be quite hard as we are harsh on each self, do it for the ones you love. And do browse online for help. I'm not really got at all this.
You have quite the situation there! I would recommend quitting P for starters, you will get some base sexual discipline from it, and once you do everything will be far easier, you will have more control of your fetishes this way, try a 90 day reboot and once you achieve it consider how you feel then and how you feel now. After I quit P I could stop many bad sexual habits and I can relate sex with love far easier, I'm still in the process but I think that NoFap will give you the building blocks to cure from your addiction
You have a sex addiction. Find you a good therapist. Stop watching porn,, stop visiting prostitutes. You need good habits. Porn blockers, limited online time, exercise. Intimacy with girlfriend.
thank you so much for the reply, this is really helping me, may i ask you where can i find that guide you are talking about? thank you so much for your help and your kindness
There isn't much to get from a guide as in "steps to follow" other than just quitting PMO and finding healthy habits to replace the bad ones, what you definetively should look into is the effects of P and everything related to it and PMO, a lot of good resources on yourbrainonporn.com and https://www.nofap.com/rebooting/, other than that the challenges will rise once you start your reboot, you will have to learn about chaser effects, you won't know how hard it is until you try, if you keep failing try to find why you fail and the answer of how to do it will be clearer. Don't think it will be an easy journey, but nofap will help you a lot, without quitting PMO you won't be able to quit prostitutes, so try that for starters and yes do go for sex addict therapy I think you need it if you care for your loved ones
