Porn discussed in church

ok so I'm going to try and open a discussion about how to share some of this addiction in church. I heard a sermon a while ago and felt very much along the lines of

"he asked me to pray for him"
"I said stop doing it and ask your wife for forgiveness"..
there was also a lot of shame.. and little actual guidance.

They also I believe asked for people to go up for prayer (which i didn't).
I don't always go to this church but I think it's an important issue.

My issue is that shame is a cause of the isolation which leads to PMO.. so we need to work on communicating recovery paths NOT shaming men who are already vulnerable / withdrawn etc. I also particularly think women (from my understanding) don't and perhaps can't understand the issue, so we need ways to communicate in environment which are just men and with men AND women.

for me shaming in front of women makes the problem worse.. it'd be interesting to hear more womens views in fact when I'm more confident maybe I'll try and do that.

anyway just to open some thoughts..

 

Interesting and insightful points I agree there needs to be more brave souls (as you put it) admitting they had a problem.. I guess for this to happen more perhaps partners need to be understanding about it.. perhaps that might be a starting point (I'm single, but i imagine even if i got confidence to talk about this if i had a partner it wouldn't come across well.. I'm guessing)... Yes pooling addictions as a broader topic may well be a good route in.. and links to support. for me it was a Russell brand video talking about addiction and he said to look for support groups (and hense I'm here).. I hadn't thought of doing that before.

Shame is SOOO destructive to finding help.. it's perhaps the reason we turn to PMO so it needs to reverse and seen as something we need to help.. if more people helped then more people might stop.. Its education

 

thanks for sharing that. I believe judgement put me off asking for individual prayer.. maybe I'll feel strong enough another time.. I'd like to believe in prayer again. I certainly feel being judged in a church is the most horrible experience... it's a difficult one indeed

 

thanks for the link and Yes I totally agree.. that's why when you feel judged in church the whole faith crumbles around you.. its extremely difficult to pull through to God if people beside you judge you (or if it feels like that)..

I went to church yesterday and had a positive experience.. some people were being baptised, one of them declared porn use (and addiction) as something he had suffered from. he said he was sharing it because he knew others suffered too. I guess my initial judgment of that was "you don't look like you've been addicted!.. i.e. he was young/vibrant, full of life.. not the old wasted life addict I feel".. I also judged the baptism a bit as it's not like that for me.. addiction is a struggle every day, not a quick fix! (although thinking of that I haven't been baptised as an adult).. but I totally was warm by the fact he'd opened up, that was inspiring. Indeed someone who is more recovered perhaps sharing is likely to be one of the only ways to reach those who are still in the grips. Someone I knew also asked if i needed prayer.. something I've not asked for for a long while.. I didn't declare anything to do with PMO but I did about relationships / shame depressions, feeling judged etc etc some of which he knew but it was truly good for me to share to someone who was actually there (i.e. praying to God is good, but if you feel judged by people somehow you need to tell them).. I hope this might open more prayer, and hopefully more faith for me. and it inspires me that sharing publicly is DEFINITELY something we need to work on..