Porn Ruined My First Time Having Sex

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by 30daysnofaq21, Aug 29, 2017.

  1. 30daysnofaq21

    30daysnofaq21 Fapstronaut

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    Before I get to it I just want to get a few facts out the way so you guys have a better understanding so I get a more accurate answer. I’m very physically active playing competitive sport, I’m in great shape, my diet is pretty good, I don’t drink or take drugs and I always keep myself hydrated. I’m don’t get stress easily (I rarely stress), I’m not going through depression or anything mentally in that nature, I’m pretty confident and sociable so all in all physically and mentally I’m doing well.

    I’ve started fapping and watching porn around 19. I’ve tried before when I was younger but never really had any interest mainly based on religious reason. Don’t get me wrong my hormones were all over the place and I’d get horny pretty much every day but I manage to maintain my urge. I would wake up or spontaneously get rock hard over the slightest thing. The first 2-3 months I’d fap while using porn as stimulation between 2-10 times a day until I realised I was fapping too much but still not aware of the damage I was causing. So I continued fapping and using porn as stimulation for the next 2 years fapping 1-2 times a day (days I wouldn’t and days I’ll get too carried away)

    I recently met a girl I really really like and we’ve been talking for a few months now and I’ve told her I’m still a virgin (she isn’t). She asked me once if I’ve never had sex before do I fap a lot, stupidly I said no to avoid embarrassment but I’ve told her I use to a lot but stopped years ago only to find out she doesn’t mind if I did. So now she thinks I haven’t had sex and I don’t fap. Okay fast-forward to this week. Since we both still live with our parents we planned to go to a hotel for a day and as planned it happened. Fast forward to the action, I was giving her a massage and that slowly turn to us kissing then me fingering her we spent maybe 3-4mins doing that, she got really wet so she started giving me head and that’s when I notice I wasn’t even fully erect maybe only 20% weirdly I could feel the sensation and really enjoyed it I just couldn’t get hard. Anyway, it reached the point we both knew it wasn’t gonna happen. The same night I decided I had to try again just for pure pride, I manage to get semi hard ish maybe 40-50%.... hard enough for me to put it in. I would get harder by each stroke but not fully hard and felt like ejaculating multiple times but slowed down and held it in but when we switch position I just went soft again... all of that lasting maybe 5-7mins.

    Weirdly, that same day before meeting her I fapped in the morning so I can last longer for the actual thing and without no problem I was rock hard and ejaculated.

    I wrote all that to ask this: Those 2 years of me fapping and watching porn for stimulation is what caused me to fail to rise to the occasion. She thinks it’s because it's my first time and I was probably nervous but tbh it didn’t feel like I was. Do I have ‘Porn-induced sexual dysfunction’ or what?! and what should I do

    *bear in mind*
    The 2 years of me fapping I’ve never gone soft during any session(s) and I would always ejaculate.

    I would fap for 5-30mins/ watching normal porn... nothing extreme or weird

    In between when I had sex twice I got a semi multiple times while cuddling which it would go after a min or so

    From what I know I’m not addicted to porn I only put it only purely for stimulation for when I'm fapping

    And from what I know I don't think I'm addicted to fapping since I’ve gone days and week without fapping before
     
  2. obsolete_23

    obsolete_23 Fapstronaut

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    It's tough dude. No one on here can really tell you if you have PIED or something else. There's no harm in ditching the porn and seeing if that helps. Perhaps you were more nervous than you thought, especially if you liked her a lot. Good luck anyway!
     
    DBug likes this.
  3. DBug

    DBug Fapstronaut

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    Your describing my first time lol. But as @obsolete_23 said: We don't know. Could be one or the other or both for that matter.

    You may want to tell her your situation if it doesn't get better soon (if it does you probably really were only nervous).

    Good luck!
     
  4. daveplaysguitar90

    daveplaysguitar90 Fapstronaut

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    It's happened to the best of us dude. Hate to tell you this but it definitely sounds like porn-induced ED. Don't think the masturbation is AS much of a problem as long as it's done in moderation (and by that I mean like a few times per week, definitely not multiple times a day). Then again if you're thinking about pornography while doing the deed, it's best not to. This probably sounds really cliche, but the first step in recovery is admitting that there's a problem. And I have to agree with DBug that if you really like this girl and see a future with her, you should come clean about it. Honesty and putting the effort forth to get past it is the way to go. Wishing you well in your NoFap journey!
     
    DBug likes this.
  5. SanityOverVanity

    SanityOverVanity Fapstronaut

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    Only you will be able to tell if it's PIED, truly. But if porn is the only thing that gives you a full erection that might need your immediate attention. I also think you need to come clean with this girl because some of it might be psychological. Not being completely honest with her might be playing in your head during sex. I'd definitely take porn out of the equation completely though, that has to be a start. Hope it works out
     
    Tonytone and DBug like this.

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