Hi, I’m fairly new here, day 9 no PM (I have a GF so no O isn’t really an option) I wanted to see if anyone else has dealt with a fetish/kink that stems from pre puberty? Even before I knew how to find porn I had an object fetish, this is deeply engrained in my psyche and I doubt I’ll get rid of it. But I am trying to remove the compulsive/digenerative habits I have built by using the “I’ll never be able to change attitude”. Even if I can’t get rid of my kink it’s not as if I should let it run my life. If any of y’all have dealt with this type of thing I’d love to hear how you fostered healthy habits surrounding you kink and avoided PM. It seems like there must be a healthy balance of kink to life. My GF is open to including the kink in sex (very rare, I know I’m lucky). So I want to validate her openness and also indulge a bit by making it part of our kink play.
If something the two of you share, I hope you are being honest about everything with her, such as having a problem with PM. If she does and is working with and shares the same interests or kinks then you are doing things as a couple. Beware of using her as a psub and vice versa, this can lock you in the cycle and prevent moving forward. In either case stay away from PM and get it under control for yourself and for your relationship.
Thanks! Yeah I wouldn’t want to replace a bad habit with another. I hope I can stick it out, tonight has been especially intense for urges but I’m powering through.
Keep your reason for stopping firmly in your mind. If it gets hard come here, read, ask questions, vent, whatever it takes. Getting out of the house can help to, doing something physical, new or constructive.
Be open, discuss your feelings with each other in your relationship with you and your girlfriend. If you need something to work on, tell her to support you in your struggle. And always treat each other with respect. Because that is how relationships last.
Thanks, I brought it up to her, and discussed what I was doing, she didn’t seem to think it was an issue for me. I assured her it has been and she maybe just couldn’t see it. Either way she is supportive and for now we have stuck to vanilla sex. We have always been great communicators, it’s why we are so stable I think, so I know we will weather this storm as any other. In the end I have usually kept the real life fetish stuff to a minimum, it’s the PM that’s been out of hand. So as long as I keep away from those urges I think I’ll be more under control in a year or so. My current goal is 90 day’s. We will see if I make it farther. I won’t be counting sex so I think that makes it slightly easier.
