Problem with traps and transwomen

Sorry you're in a dark place. You can get out of it, so try to relax and don't beat yourself up too much. That said, that angst you're feeling can be used as a motivation to get yourself healthy. Right now, I wouldn't worry about the sexual orientation issue as there is plenty of time to figure that out down the road. And whatever that ends up being, it will be ok. In my opinion the first priority is to get yourself clean of porn - that is never healthy no matter what orientation a person is. Have you read stuff in here about your brain on porn? If not, you should to understand what is going on with your brain and body. Lots of resources out there. It seems you recognize you have a problem which is the key first step and you're trying to stay PMO clean which is awesome. Your brain and body need to get clear of PMO's draw and I would encourage you to look for some support. The folks on here are great, and would also encourage you to get more support, whether that be a NoFap weekly group (cost to that), therapy, SAA or similar group, religious advisor if that is a connection for you, etc. or a combination of that (if you go the therapist route or religious advisor, would just make sure they have experience in sex addiction). You will have more success if you have a live human being to talk with either in person or via technology. I'm sure folks that read my posts are tired of me sounding like a broken record on this, but I'm convinced that "addiction thrives in secrecy and isolation, but dies in honesty and connection." And yes, you will be attracted to women if that's where you want to go and you can lose the fetishes and the power they have over you currently. Best wishes.

 

Stop watching porn give ur brain a break. Watch universal man on YouTube, gary wilson ted talk...after about 4 months search ur heart what do you feel u are attracted to, romantically, sexually, physically...do you check out men or women when ur out in public. Your only 19 but when u were 12 or 13 what were you attracted to, even before porn what were you into...Porn messes you up super bad, schools don't tell you that and it's just now bringing a new drug just calm down, relax, focus on other positive things and take it one day at a time. Best of luck on your journey