Question for the guys..

Not me

 

Good question. I don't know if I would be deeply upset, but this is based on how my SO and I talk about other people and what we find attractive. I actually think it's kinda cute when she talks about men on TV that she finds super attractive.

Porn is admittedly a completely different level. I think if it were reversed, I wouldn't be devastated, but rather motivated to help her move away from the pixels. Then again, having discovered nofap I can relate to the dangers of the addiction and I think I would be more sympathetic. If I had no clue about all of this, perhaps I would be less receptive and more devastated.

Hmm very interesting question

 

So I'm not a guy, but I have asked my husband this and thought I'd post what his answer was. He said while he was doing it, in the porn fog, he doesn't think it would have bothered him if I was doing it too. But if he thinks about me doing it now, now that he sees how harmful it is and thinks of it as cheating, he said it would really bother him.

 

I think men and women see porn in very different contexts. Most women I’ve asked tell me porn isn’t cheating to them unless it impacts the actual bedroom. Women I tend to think watch more out of curiosity vs guys who see it as warm up for MO.

 

I wouldnt care if she was MOing to pics/vids of other guys as long as it wouldnt replace or impact our sex life. If she was MOing to pics or fantasying about me it would even seem weird/obsessive.

I have no problem with porn other than the fact is I have let it control me at timesand impacted me on a psychological level.

 

Nothing can even truly replace the feeling of being inside a woman

 

His reaction was normal. Of course it would affect his self esteem, and it would also bring insecurities in the relationship.

 

If he is insecure or jealous it will bother him if not it will not bother him.

 

I'm also a SO, but I did ask my BF (@slb), but I said you are "sex visual", but I am "sex auditory", so the equivalent of you watching porn for me would be to chat with guys and hear sweet little things whispered in my ear. So, I asked him if it would be OK for him if I chatted with guys online to have them say sexy things to me, so I could get off OR going on dates (no sex) and have guys romance me with words (maybe an equivalent to his staring in public), so I could use these memories for later M sessions. He said he WOULD NOT LIKE THAT.

 

This might sound egotistical ( not the point) but I once dated a catalog model who people who ask for pictures when we were out together. It never bothered me. She was with me.

 

Sorry, but what does that have to do with "turning tables"? Was she cheating? Was she ogling? Was she watching porn? Was she flirting? Was she sexting?...

 

I meant some guys would get very insecure about that and think her acting that way flirtatious. To me it wasn’t. Maybe I didn’t express myself correctly.

 

My husband while in the fog said he wouldn't mind me having my favorite celebs shirtless and stuff, but the second one of my guy friends (who I slept with once) sent me a picture of himself shirtless in boxers (he meant to send it to a different Anna) my husband flipped his shit when he saw me looking at it (I had just opened the text and laughed). He was so enraged he made me delete it. When I bring that up, he admits that yes me thinking about others, watching others, talking to others would have hurt him and he would have felt cheated on. Hell, I can't even mention that friend without him shiting all over my friend.

 

Seems over dramatic to me meaning his response

 

That is a different perspective...for me that would not be acceptable from a female companion for her to seek out that type of attention from other men. Its fine getting prettied up and flirting with guys on a girls night, but romancing and chatting especially deeper feelings with other men, even being open more with other women than you are with me would be disappointing. Obviously there is a gray line of acceptability, but i think when your using others (whatever form) to replace your partner then theres a problem.

If i am having sex i want us both to be present with eachother, even if there is some roleplay we are still ourselves.

 

Now if I got a bikini shot from a woman and my significant other saw it I would expect her to be upset.