Questions, thoughts, and anecdotes on homemade porn.

I am wondering what others thoughts are on homemade porn and have some questions. I will start with my anecdotes.

I have been lurking nofap for a bit, but have finally decided to post. PMO has definitely become somewhat of an issue. Over the years I have been 'lucky' enough to have gathered quite a collection of images and video of girls I have been with, be it girlfriends, lovers, hookups, etc. This has been going on now for some time, but has more recently seemed to become an insidious problem. In general I find myself unable to find satisfaction from professional porn, unless an actress closely resembles a past lover. Otherwise it is other homemade porn but usually I always end up back on my own personal collection. Issues begin creeping in when in new relationships or trying to find a new relationship. There is a certain 'nostalgia' involved while also judging new girls by the old. It also feels as if some part of me has become primarily interested in making 'porn' with girls I sleep with, as opposed to the sex itself. Then there are the old girls that really tug the heart-strings. Continually looking at them has done little but increase the heartache, regret, and frustration with new dating prospects.

In many ways I might say I feel that this obsession with homemade porn has been 'better' than other types of porn. I do not feel a need to find more and more extreme material, I have not had my sexual expectations 'corrupted'. But in the end (esp after finding nofap) the general issue of PMO is the same. And I am left wondering if the use of personal porn is not more emotionally damaging...

Sorry to ramble but I am wondering what other's thoughts on this are, especially with the talk of how porn effects the brain. Is homemade porn actually any better than other porn? Does it encourage one to engage in porn instead of sex? Does the desire for filming sex acts fall under the greater issues of porn? Could it be worse in ways?