Hi guys. In the past 4 weeks, I tried to cut out all porn and limit my jack off sessions to once a week. I was successful until this week when I went on a marathon of jack off sessions and relapsed on porn. I decided to officially start NoFap today. I have been fapping since I was probably 5. I kept rubbing myself against things and it felt good so I kept on doing it. When I hit puberty, I started to really jack off and watch porn. I knew that fapping was bad so I limited myself to only jacking off once a week and on mondays only. That worked out until my urges kept on creeping to the previous day like sunday and it went downhill from there. I consider myself straight but I watch gay porn. Here's the thing when I was in middle school I had crushes on girls but when it came to porn, I was like I like girls so I will watch straight porn but I tried to and it was so off putting because I didn't like how the woman was treated and objectified and I didn't know the girl so I felt icky watching it. I don't even remember how I discovered gay porn but I did. When I first started, I didn't watch gay porn that much, I would jack off thinking about a hot girl that I had a crush on in middle school. It progressed until I watched gay porn every session. I am baffled about why I am addicted to gay porn. A part of what could have attributed to my gay porn was that I was bullied throughout middle school and people always made fun of me by calling me ugly or making fun of how I dress, which I never really understood because I was like every other average joe and wore tshirts and jeans for the most of my life but whatever. I think I started to look at other guys and see what they wore, looked like and what was considered good looking to girls. I am 18 now and basically an introvert. I am starting NoFap to get rid of my gay porn addiction and reboot my brain. I have tried so many times to stop myself from masturbating and watching gay porn but it doesn't help that I am 18 and my hormones are still raging but this time I am going to try harder.
I think you've hit on a few important things. You consider yourself straight but watch gay porn b/c you don't like how women are treated. In some ways, that's good. That means you can recognize that women should not be treated in that fashion. It will save you from having to retrain your brain in that way. Of course, there's other retraining you need to do. @fercho29 posted his story here. I think one of the big things I got out of this was that the "actors" in gay porn are in their own prison, usually a combination of drugs and poverty. Watching or contributing to this stuff adds several more locks to their prison bars. Face it, if people didn't watch porn, gay or straight, there would be no porn industry. Straight guys would not have to trick themselves out to do gay activities. Do you have a brother or a very close friend? Could you imagine some lewd pervert using him in a degrading way? I'm starting to understand this better myself, and it breaks my heart. I think as you get away from P of any sort, gay or straight, you'll have so much more time on your hands. You'll be able to find exciting hobbies, meet people more, go to social events, not look at guys or girls like objects. It's going to be the life you've always wanted. But it has to start by taking P out of your life. Truly, FPDoc
No, I am an only child. An introvert, few to basically 0 friends and no guy friends LOL. I do believe that is where my gay porn stem from because I do want to be more built. Bruh, I want to be drunk too LOL. It has been a week and usually I can only last a week at most, so its gonna get harder from here.
I think you will find some virtual guy friends here. Along with that, you should find some guys close by who you can spend good face-to-face time with.
Here are two suggestions of free workout resources that you can do at home and in your own time. http://7-min.com/ I do this when I don't have enough time to go swimming. I do it four times in a row, which amounts to almost 30 minutes. If you are going to repeat it four times in a row at a time, don't do it every day, because it's really focused and intense. Your body needs time to recover. https://www.doyogawithme.com/ An amazing resource for all types of yoga and meditation videos. I recommend the following videos: "Rise and Shine," "Power and Precision," "Beautifully Bound," Chakra Flow," "Feel the Love," "Love Yourself," and "In the Moment." Or anything with Fiji McAlpine or Tracey Noseworthy.
I fapped yesterday... I do go to the gym often and am a swimmer. Its not like some scrawny nerd, I am average, just not pornstar material. LOL.
