I have used porn for over 10 years straight. No breaks. The fact that I used it at times more often than others made me think that there wasn't a real addictive feature to the way I consumed it. And I kept on using it. When I started college it's when I noticed that indeed I had an issue, a real one with porn since I was using it often times as I way of forgetting about all the shit around me. It was like I didn't need to drink alcohol or smoke weed to feel relaxed cause porn was doing this for me. I was getting high on porn. I knew so many websites and then I started to search for better pixelated images until I got to the point that not even 4k scenes were satisfying me anymore. I started to watch gay porn and transwoman porn to see if I could get still a little bit of arousal. The moment I realized I was so fucked up and not even zoosex was getting me hard anymore. I had dated this girl for 4 months and her body was perfect so in the beginning it wasn't any difficult to get a boner and our sex life was awesome. Starting around the 5th month (when my porn consumption reached its highest) I started to experience PIED symptoms and that started to worry me since althought I'm kinda skinny I'm a really healthy guy. My girl was understanding and empathetic to that and I was so ashamed. I kept on having those kinds of experience and we eventually parted ways. After 10 years of porn consumption i finally realized how detrimental porn has been to me. I had tried NoFap some times ago but they were all failed attempts. I had this conversation with myself in the beginning of July and I started to write the shit down and I found out a purpose: I don't ever wanna have PIED again. I know it'll take time and I'm willing to try it; I'm having patience although I'm an Aries and that can be somewhat challenging but it'll work because I have a purpose. Several actually, apart from treating PIED I wanna restore my short-term memory, social skills and get rid of brainfog. I'm webdating a new girl now and I wanna keep free from porn and make it work. I don't ever wanna have PIED again. I am aware it won't happen in the short term and even if it take years i'll get my erections back. I'm only writing this here because it's the beginning of my 4th week NoFap and I had started to have urges. I edged a bit recently looking at a nude gif i received from this girl (and she's damn hot) but I then refrained. Whatever help I can get from you guys going longer on this road will help me to stay strong.
