recurring resets after long streaks (cycle)

I have been experincing a reoccuring pattren. After a long streak I tend to have small relapses after which the cycle repeats again.

I think its the curosity to experince watching porn again thats making this cycle happen becouse its been a while. although i have not watched any or visited a website however the earge to do so keeps this cycle happening.

Its like I want to open the curtains for a split second to see whats outside before I quickly close them again. But its not designed this way.

Its like I want to open the curtains for a split second to see whats outside before I quickly close them again. But its not designed this way.

Its very confusing. Can anyone relate? Is there an explanation?