So I relapsed after slightly touching an erect penis, I ejaculated without orgasm so I said fuck it and went for it. I lost my streak like an idiot. Just the day before I had a big nostalgia hit, I though to myself that I wasted my childhood and didn’t enjoy it, I was an hot headed idiot that was angry at everything, but even so I had more fun than I had since. At the time I was fully aware of nodal and participated in it with limited results but my addiction wasn’t as rampant. Now I’m a self-loathing depressed idiot that suffers from constant mood-swings and wants one thing and it’s happiness. I am a flawed person, that’s why I struggle to feel connected and part of a group most of the time, that’s why I’m lonely in the first place.I do believe that nofap is the key to becoming a better person, but I find myself lost time and time again. It’s not fun, I wish to control my sexual urges which seems impossible. It really feels like I’m slowly dying day by day and I can’t stand this feeling. I can’t tell anyone in my life because they will certainly reject me altogether ( religious beliefs and shit). But I will keep going until I fucking die no other option.
