Relapsed Hard

In some of my previous posts I talked about my problematic sexual behaviour. Exhibitionism on the beach for older men, stripping and jacking off on webcam for older guys, meeting random girls on tinder who were into taboo stuff like strapons. I had a 4 or 5 day streak going on which was the longest I've gone without masturbating or having an orgasm for I want to say 10 years...……. I definatley felt different but I wasn't too sure if it was a good different or bad different, sometimes it was both. I did feel like I was accomplishing something , I definatley felt a lot more open to sharing my thoughts (maybe it was because I was frustrated with no masturbating and was more loud or maybe it was really because I was gaining self confidence)


Anyways I had a bad day at work and a girl I liked wasn't giving me attention like she normally does.
I came home that day and was frustrated both mentally with work and sexually so I started looking online for older guys looking for action. I wont say the website I used but I eventually found one who wanted to meet at a 24 hour gym locker room. I turned to this instead of tinder because girls on tinder want more information about you and are a lot harder to do undercover without giving names or anything. I told the guy I was into stripping and walking around naked so around 3 am I went to the gym and saw him there a much older and taller guy. I was thinking to myself if I get naked and start my exhibitionism fetish again I will get hard and want to cum. I tried soo hard not to but I just couldn't resist it. I made eye contact with him and he came over and asked if I was the guy online, I almost said no but I said yes. He told me I was a lot more attractive than he expected (this was already making me horny) and told me he was going to the steam room and there was no one there at all. He told me to take of my clothes and wiggle that cute ass over to the steam room. My thoughts of exhibitionism as well as the way he was talking I couldn't resist. I went over butt naked and he touched me all over and you can guess what happened. After it happened he said "good job" and left and I literally was standing there naked with cum on me and I was like "I'm so weak".

After that I came home and jacked of several times a day for the last few days to messed up porn. I'm drained, tired and feel like shits obviously not getting better. I lost all my progress and just dived into my terrible habits. I know i'm not suppose to give up but 12 am tonight will be a full day without PMO. how am I suppose to get back to my 5 days let alone longer