shame and relapse.

GC, if you are talking about smoke it took me many attempts to quit until is stuck. Smoking is the hardest thing to quit. It only takes one cigarette to get into full relapse, where as with PMO'ing you can do it once and leave it along for a longer period of time next time. Keep quitting. Quit as many times as you have to until it sticks. Keep in mind that dopamine addiction applies to smoking too. (I think.)

*B49*

 

Feelings of loneliness when returning to those you love supposedly (your parents), is curious. Do you associate your home town with past experiences which dig up these unwanted feelings of loneliness?

 

Yeah took me a year to get to the point that smoking cravings stopped hitting.
The good news is that the games your thoughts and emotions play on you are pretty much the same no matter the addiction. Learning to recognize them and let them have no sway over you is a great skill to learn. First step is just recognizing that they are happening and being fully aware of what they will lead to. I went through a period of fatalism where I could feel the addictive thoughts and feelings steadily growing and figured it was just a tide and there was no way to stop it. What really helped me was dismantling the logic underlying the addictive patterns. Truth and love man. That's what it's about. Don't buy into the lies that will drag you down into self loathing///

 

Hmm. Rough stuff. At least you can come back with the knowing that you're stronger now than you were back then. Your hometown is a part of your past yes, but you are almost a different man now to the one you were when you were living there previously. Hopefully that gives you some hope, right?

 

I think it's especially hard for younger people to give it up. You've been raised on instant gratification so waiting a couple of minutes to let the urge pass not really in the repertoire. It takes practice, quitting and failing, quitting and failing until one of those "quits" holds. Don't give up hope. Thanks for being honest and letting us know. Start again and like Dev-abc says, watch for those telltale signs. You'll do better and better each time.

*B49*

 

If I may venture a stab at this:
1) More hormones
2) More lies (general increase in culture of objectification)
3) Grown up with more access to high octane shit to indulge in
4) exposure to 2 & 3 started at a much younger age

 

@Dev-abc, with the advent of the Internet there is less and less time that is need to answer a question, look up a reference, find a store, etc., etc. Years ago we didn't carry our phones and encyclopedias in our pocket. You had a question you went to the library. You needed to find a product you had to do research, make phone calls, heck write letters and wait for a response. Heck, if you wanted to look at stimulating pictures you had to buy a magazine and find a private place. Oh and phones used to be attached to the wall by a cord. (Eeek!) But, you know all that stuff.

Today, kids, young people, get all that they need from the little box in their pocket. There is no deferring gratification for later and so it is with personal pleasuring. You need pictures, videos? Boom right there at your finger tips, no delay, no waiting, no problem. That's why I think it's harder for younger people today to give up PMO'ing. And, as for us older farts, we've become accustomed to the same, but have the advantage of remember a time when we had to wait for our satisfaction.

Does that make sense?

*B49*