Sharing my story - journal

Day 1: Hi dear friends. I'm addicted to PMO since I was a teenager. I think it's enough. Hopefully, God will help me with my mindful journey. I have a lot of goals associated with that change. Firstly, I want to strongly improve my sexuality, empathy, and self-awareness. Secondly, I want to be a better man in a long-distance relationship that I'm doing for 1,5 year (9 months left). Last, but not least I want to be in a good relationship with myself, feel free, stress less and prove myself that I can control the way I think. Today was a good day. I'm a senior year student so today I was focused on my work at the university. My desire came when I wanted to go for a short nap, but I have overcome it with reading about how other fapstronauts are dealing with it. I have had a lot of "first days" and I hope this journal will help me to make the real one of all of them. This time I'm determined. I'm from Poland so I'm sorry if my English is disturbing you. I have a couple things left to do. Planning the next day, cleaning and shopping are on my list. I try to figure out what I can do in the following days to keep myself on track with my goals, God, relatives, loved ones and friends. Feel free to join if you'd like to discuss something

 

Day 2: Yesterday finished very well. I think I needed some kind of rest day to clear my mind, so I watched the amazing film that turned out to be one of my favorites "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" . So today I need to finish my plans from yesterday. Cleaning, decluttering and shopping are on my list. I will be busy because I want to start writing my thesis as well. When this sinful desire will come I think I can deal with it. I will try to focus on another task (for example modernizing my CV or look for job opportunities concerning major that I'm finishing). Thanks to my journal I am more confident with that.

 

Day 3: Day 2 was so hard, but eventually I could resist watching P. The desire came at night when I couldn't fall asleep. I think that next time at night I could try switching off that unproductive thinking, read a book or write a journal with all of my thoughts before going to sleep. I'll see if that works for me. Yesterday was pretty hard, I was completely alone and couldn't contact my girlfriend just for a little talk at any time due to the two days trip that she's in right now. But I stayed calm for most of the time during the day. Today I'm continuing to write my thesis and I need to do the trip to IKEA, so that will take a lot of time probably. Hopefully, I will be clear and patient throughout the day. God bless!