Should I get a FWB during my NoFap journey?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Brockfoor9, Aug 6, 2017.

  1. Brockfoor9

    Brockfoor9 Fapstronaut

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    Question speaks for itself. I have a girl who has told me numerous times she wants to be and is totally down. I'm not like that usually. But I've realized my PMO problem isn't really about p or m, it's wanting sex!! I was always the type to do sex during relationships, but I'm wondering if this could be a viable option since she is so open to it.

    Thoughts??
     
  2. I suggest it is very difficult to be certain of anything sex-related at this stage. Remember that the nub of the problem we all share is the overstimulation of the brain's reward circuit (fuelled by dopamine). It is that, specifically, we seek to remedy.

    The most effective approach to resolving our 'issues' whatever they may be is abstinence, preferably hard mode. There is no doubt that having sex, especially in the early months of the reboot, slows down the reboot. Naturally, if you have sex during the process you will get a spike in dopamine. Then the chaser effect results where you'll crave masturbating to porn.
     
  3. Hermann Überhard

    Hermann Überhard New Fapstronaut

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    Are you sure? It having sex does not link the dopamine to porn, so where is the harm?
     
  4. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    ^^^ this.

    The harm is in the linking of dopamine to sex. Think about it ... a FWB offers a lot of the same 'benefits' porn offers you: sexual release without the hard work of building a relationship. With porn, you just click your mouse and you're off to the races. With an FWB, many times it's just a matter of sending a text message and you're having sex an hour later.

    If your FWB simply takes the place of porn in your life, then you're still using sexual behavior compulsively, and your brain will get wired even harder than before.

    I speak with a lot of credibility on this. I've had over 250 casual partners because I got addicted to sex. Just know that picking up a FWB could be a sign of your addiction escalating, not diminishing. I would be extremely cautious.
     
    Mr. E, fotizo and Runtilmylegsdropoff like this.
  5. DO NOT EJACULATE. I had FWB during my reboot and it only slowed me down.
     
  6. fotizo

    fotizo Fapstronaut

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    I personally would not take advantage of a FWB and would try to not ejaculate during the rebooting process. As has been stated due to excess use of P and M the brain needs to be rewired. Having a FWB really doesn't allow the brain to do this because one can still act on his sexual impulses instead of learning the self-control which is needed.

    The only exception to the rule I stated at the beginning of my comment would be if one is in a deeply committed/marital relationship. There one can "use" sex in the realm which it was ultimately intended for; as a sort of reward for the hard work up building up and maintaining a relationship.
     
    Mr. E likes this.
  7. Brockfoor9

    Brockfoor9 Fapstronaut

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    I met with my "fwb" but didn't ejaculate or anything with her. Actually being with her and hanging out with her helped remind me of how good it is to be with actual women. I felt, and have since, no desire to do any PMO. It was a nice reminder. Cuddle buddies as gay as that sounds is a true benefit that I feel tremendously helped me
     
  8. I think finding a meaningful relationship during a reboot is more beneficial than just finding someone to have sex with.I had a fwb during the times that I tried to get clean and it would slow me down every time.I think it is really difficult to stay on the right course while you having meangless sex with someone you don't love.
     
  9. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    I did the fwb thing and it isn't worth it so I ended it.
     
  10. Absolutely not. Your problem is sex and you would in a relationship based purely on sex?! That won't help you but it would be only damaging you and your reboot

    Resist and focus on other stuff. Sex this meaningless won't help you. I'm a sex addict and I had to stop having sex coz I was afraid of what I could have done and I went to have no control over me anymore

    Having sex just to cover the pain and loneliness I felt. Fix yourself first. Sex is not the solution. Concentrate on your goals
     
  11. Halo_30

    Halo_30 Fapstronaut

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    Why do you use the word "gay" as a negative or lame sounding thing? It's just a sexual orientation.
     
  12. Having an intimate connection is what can help you not plain fucking. A cuddle or a hug is much better than empty sex
     

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