Hi! It would be nice to meet you or discuss the topic with others, how do you manage being single and feeling lonely sometimes? Especially when your family live abroad and the rest of your friends or work colleagues have families and children themselves which means they have no time for you or money to be able to join the activities you would like them to?
I like the app Meetup.com, it's not a dating site, it's a site to find people and do activities that interest you. Not sure where you live, but where I live there are lots of meetups each day that help me get out of the house and find other people.
I've found meetup to be worthless for me personally, considering that most major events are one or two cities away most of the time, or they never correspond with my interests. Oh well, to each his own. That said, I can relate to the original post 100%. I've been single my entire life, and it can get incredibly lonely. I do have friends, but most of my friends are twice my age, and I rarely get to see them. Everyone is so busy doing their own thing.
The success of Meetup can vary depending on where you live. Definitely having meetups near your home works best. I can think of many more ways to meet people and I believe the only way to beat loneliness is to get out of the house and find others to interact with. Good luck!
Thanks for the kind words. About being single, I think that's the cause if my recent depression as of late, or at least a main driver behind it. You see, I'm enrolled at a local college, and I see beautiful ladies every day on campus. It's a pity, because I'm a rather grotesque-looking man, so I know that I have zero chance with any of these female students (even the less attractive ones). Of course, I don't bother asking any of them out; in my country, if a girl doesn't like you and you ask her out, that can be seen as sexual harassment. I went out for coffee with a student I met last week, but it's abundantly clear that our friendship is platonic.
Don't worry about your looks, I'm hideous looking, but have had many pretty girlfriends and now an attractive wife. The secret is confidence, even if you are self-conscious, act confident and the women will find you more attractive. Platonic relationships are a good start, at least you have a friend. When other females see you with a female they will find you more attractive. They think, if you are hanging out with a woman then you must be attractive in some way. When I was single I didn't like platonic relationships, but had I been smarter and not so horny, I would have realized it's really nice to hang out with a woman, even if she's just a friend. The company of a woman is different than hanging with a guy and some of my best friends are platonic girl-friends. Good luck, and enjoy college!
Funny, because over 90% of my closest friends are women (including women that are older than me, some twice my age). I learned years ago that I can open to women in ways that I can't to a man (unless we're online, like right now). Women are more willing to listen and offer advice, especially if they're older. Men often get prideful and put down other men who reach out or speak up, in order to feel better about themselves or increase their image in the eyes of others. However, the downside is once you offend a woman... THAT'S IT. You almost NEVER get a second chance, or it will take a LOOONG time before you do. At least that's been my personal experience. Also, almost all my female friends are immigrants; I made two this week - one is from North Africa, and the other from Eastern Europe. It's a good reminder to me that the behaviour of women in the West isn't always universal, which is a breath of fresh air for me. Plus, when I befriend one lady, her whole circle of friends get much nicer.
Join clubs for example running, biking, dance, enroll in classes you find really interesting for example learn new language. Join a gym, if religious join a church.
Guess I have to learn to be platonic with woman, I don't really have any woman friends, thing is if I cannot have a relationship with her I ignore the woman or am proffesional towards her, maybe a bit shallow I suppose. I think it is kinda hard for men and woman to be platonic, if she is married or in a relationship it feels weird to have a platonic relationsthip with her if you are single or vice versa, if you are both single it feels even more weird I suppose, if you are not single or married and she is not single or married, it is also hard and weird I suppose, I mean that is how adultery can start. Not that I am horny toward the woman, not all woman, some woman I am, but it just feels kinda weird for me for men and woman to be in a platonic relationship. Offcourse I can talk to woman in a group setting but one to one, it feels kinda weird if it is platonic.
Honest answer is I suppose, if u are not blessed in the looks appartment,if u are average, u gotta make up for it, by earning as much money as you can, build a carreer ,learn a skill, graduate college etc, that will make up for it, become a high value men.
Become a high value man to make up for your average looks, no other way for average joes to find pussy.
One thing I could control about my looks was my body, I did work out with weights consistently. I never had a body builders bulky physique, but I did look strong and fit, which gave me confidence about my looks and it made me feel better mentally. Enjoy your life, that's the best anyone can do. The women will join you in time.
Agree 100%, it feels unnatural to be in a platonic relationship and it can only be platonic if one or both of you are not sexually interested in the other. However the sexual tension that may exist in a platonic relationship is fun if you don't take it too seriously. I love to flirt with my platonic friends and I can say things to them that I would not say to a woman who I didn't consider a close friend. It allows you to talk without the fear of being labeled harassing or pervy.
Yes, I agree 100% that it's not easy all. I'm working on moving to the next steps with the people I meet. To clarify, I'm married and I'm only looking for friends, not romantic partners. I'm lucky because there are meetups in my area and a couple of clubs that I have joined to give me a chance to be with new people. Where it becomes hard is taking the next step and asking the person I just met if they would like to get together outside of the club or meetup. It was easy asking woman out on dates when I was single, but it feels awkward asking men if they would like to get together to become friends. However, I think we are all looking for deeper friendships or they probably not have come to the meetup or club in the first place. Here's to new friends and hopefully it will become easier to find them!
Honestly, I have a pretty minimal amount of people in my life. I'd say far less than most people. It got worse after my divorce, naturally. The first two years I had severe feelings of loneliness. Many nights I cried in my apartment. But over time I got better. I don't know if I was in more pain because of the divorce, being alone/lonely, or both. But I healed for both at the same time. And I have to say, I prefer it with fewer people, over the way it used to be. Once I got over the shock of it all. There's no drama, not a lot of demands on my time. There's tons of freedom, I'm only bound by my own time, desire and resources. I can get on a plane and go wherever, whenever I want, or take a road trip, play music, etc. It was like all of the people I used to have ultimately gave me no value, compared to the way it is now. I'm not bitter, I just wish that I'd been able to see the way my attitude changed, how things turned out now. But I didn't have that foreknowledge, so I ran off and got married in despair, to avoid this fear. But the fear is something that gets weak over time. That is all loneliness is, it's the fear of being without something we want, like companionship, sex, good times, support, finances, connections. When I started to stand on my own, I felt like that fear had just been a distorted trap in my own brain. I had failed to face it for so so so long, and that was a bad mistake that cost me a lot of time.
I'm almost 44. Never had a real relationship and no kids. I give up on women. Life has little meaning for me now.
