So now I'm back to using essentially every evening and morning, I completely regret breaking the streak as now it's just snowballed back into regular use. I don't know what to do at this point, I'm starting to get frustrated and down on myself because I just feel like a fuck up at this point
I know for me (and I didn't see this until quite a while pm+ free) I felt like a fuck up before getting into pm+ much less when I was trying unsuccessfully for years to stop my pm+ use. You may be suffering from streak-ology. Basically, why think in terms of streaks if you regret breaking a streak. It maybe an even better way to say it is "why go back after sixty ninety or 365 days to the thing you wanted to stop for that many days?". If there's a reason that makes sense then just go with that long term. If not it could be addiction. Some expert s define the word addiction as "does not stop despite negative consequences.". I think that is a good definition and an even better one is "cannot stop even when honestly wants to." It fits me and yet I get to be pm+ free. I like to say I spent seven years getting to one day without pm+ It might benefit you to have a mentor, someone who knows what addiction feels like but also has a solution. It really helped me and I'm glad I got over my aversion to asking for help. It was in fits and starts, I was still even more rebellious than I am today but the pain of active addiction was what drive me to listen and do what my mentors suggested.
