Some help here!

Hi, guys, some weeks ago i watched Gary Wilson's video about Pornography on TED and i got quite enthusiastic about the whole idea on giving up on porn.. Even before watching it, i knew that i had to stop eventually, because i could feel that my attitude towards porn was quite different since i started watching it when i was 16 years old (im 25 now) - every time when i was about to watch some more hardcore porn (or when i was daydreaming about some porn scenes) i could feel this quite intense and also unnatural arousal in my mind and the only way to make it go away was to masturbate, of course,since for me was hard to believe that there is life without porn..
So, yes, when i watched Gary's video, i got very inspired about the whole thing and i made it without porn for something like a week (i could definitely feel the change for this one week)without it, but, then, all of a sudden i failed again and this unleashed my "hunger" for porn again and this was quite discouraging for me. Even today i watched porn twice, because i was filled with those thoughts about all kinds of different porn scenes and that's why i found it really hard to resist.. And there is this thing that every time when i slip up, i can't stop thinking about how i failed again which makes it even harder and disappointing. I have a wonderful girlfriend and when im having regular sex and so on, i really don't think about porn and i realize how ridiculous and what a pile of crap actually it is, but the problem is that since right now she is studying abroad, there will be some time before i can join her there and that's why it's hard for me to resist porn, since i don't have sex in the moment, i guess.. And i can definitely feel this whole negative impact which porn has on my life because it's affecting my sexual performance in some way (thankfully, i never had an ED, but there is this thing that i reach orgasm harder, i can go on for something like a couple of hours), because you know how it is - when you watch too much hardcore stuff, then you don't find the regular things that arousing anymore (but you can definitely feel the difference when you have get a refrain for a few days), also, im a musician and wasting so much time on dealing with porn and thoughts about it is definitely having a negative effect on my creativity and practice.. not to mention all of the depression moments because of porn. So, i just wanted to share my short story about problems with porn which i have and i don't know, i guess i can definitely use some boost right now, because i feel quite displeased with myself and my weak willpower.. i know that it won't be easy, but it's a very oppressing feeling which is a hard one to deal with.. Thanks in advance

 

Thanks for the support guys, i really appreciate it !! This very morning when i woke up (after i read all those helpful articles and success stories around here) i felt really, really calm, happy and good - i could literally see that the sun was actually shining outside and i could appreciate it and feel good about it. Because the thing was that all this time before yesterday i knew what i really needed to do and wanted it, but when i found this forum and all of this wonderful support around here, the articles, the stories and so on, it boosted and motivated me really, really much! Before that i felt like i was alone in all this and that was kind of oppressing.. but today i talked about it with my closest friends, they were kind of shocked when they learned what porn can actually do to you.. I feel really good talking about it and it's very comforting
And yes, 011214, feel free to talk about it - i would love to hear you out and i know how good it feels when you actually discuss it with people. Also, yes, i felt exactly the same - i hated myself for doing it and i couldn't see my life without it, because as Gary says in his video - the problem is that everyone sees it as something normal, so this is like some kind of mindfuck - we give ourselves some silly excuses for doing it every time, but on the other hand there is this other part in you which screams in your mind "NO, DON'T DO IT!" So, you get quite confused.. you know how it is.
Thanks for the suggestion, Hotshot, i will definitely start one as soon as possible The thing with me is that i have porn induced delayed ejaculation - yes, it's nice that i can keep going for something like 2 hours and satisfy my girlfriend during sex really much, but still - come on, two hours is quite much and it could be very weary for the both sides down there, as we all know, and i could feel that she feels a bit uncomfortable about it and i told her in the beginning that the problem is with me (i didn't know yet that the problem with delayed ejaculation would be from porn for sure, but i had some serious suspicions) and not with her, because she is a very attractive girl. Now, when i read about a guy with exactly the same problem as me, i fully realized how EVEN MORE this pile of crap - called porn - affects me in some really, really bad way.. And i always tell myself, if i think about porn, that i won't just violate and abuse my own brain once again, but also that it would be a completely stupid act of selfishness since porn also disrupts my sexual performance.
So, thanks once again, guys, i made a pretty good start today and i felt wonderful, because of all this great support in this forum. I even managed to develop a composition (which im working on together with my girlfriend, because she is a singer) further, because before that when i was swallowed by depression, confusion and frustration i found myself stuck and i couldn't come up with anything creative, but today everything was different Keep up the good fight and support guys!