Started taking medication (SSRI) to treat these panic attacks... Never to ejaculate from PMO, M, sex

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by auzzy_mikey, Apr 17, 2019.

  1. auzzy_mikey

    auzzy_mikey Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys,

    I'm 25 years and never thought I'd be the person to take medication to treat depression and suffer so much. These withdrawals whether they are from PMO or having real sex has definitely crucified me beyond whatever anyone can ever imagine. Feeling weak as piece of dogshit around everyone, feeling anxious, not attending class cause having panic attacks, co-workers taking advantage of you cause you appear so weak. Me not enjoying a single thing, can't do work properly, no social life, hair is overgrown, can't even sleep at night properly.

    I started taking SSRIs just 5 days ago and the symptoms have been getting worse. Literally had an anxiety attack and panic attack with heart racing faster, flight/fight response, pressure in stomach becoming unbearable and feeling dizzy.

    Sitting in my car and toilets at work having nervous breakdowns and anxiety being through the roof. I try to exercise mindfulness, having a health sleep, eating healthy and doing everything in my ability to get better, but still getting fucked over.

    I just know whatever is there, I will come out of this stronger. And never ever PMO again. ultimately what does giving up sex mean and not ejaculating if I can have the world back.

    Just in January 2019 I was on top of the world. Fucking bitches, going out, being confident as ever and enjoying life. I never had depression.

    The worst part is my psychotherapist is saying "Its okay to use pornography. You are a young who needs to treat his sexual desires and wants/needs.". I understand that medical science hasn't discovered the effect of how harmful P is, but I have made it certain that I don't ever want to suffer these horrific withdrawals/depression/anxiety ever again. I've had enough.

    Need to cement this in my brain. This the worst period ever in my entire life. Never ever even wish my worst enemy to even go through what I have been through.

    but as I suffered withdrawal/depression same anxiety symptoms in the past, and got through them in Feb 2014 to July 2015 (16 months), withdrawal symptoms in Feb 2018 to May 2018, and then had superpowers.

    I will never surrender. Best thing now is i'm doing work and study and i was just thinking of quitting work and study and just staying at home cause the anxiety is the most painful and the absolute fucking worst. But I was reading online that the best way to address agoraphobia and anxiety is to face it front on, cause otherwise it can get that debilitating and fucked up if you just stay at home and avoid it. I will never surrender and give up this good fight. Onwards to eternity and beyond in the NAME OF THE LORDDDD!!!
     
  2. skibum71

    skibum71 Fapstronaut

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    Cue the idiots who a) say antidepressants are evil and b) just get to the mythical magical 90 days and your life will suddenly explode into abundant joy and success...(recently passed 90 days and fuck all has changed)
    What were your pmo habits? Multiple daily pmo every day? Normal stuff or anything a bit more weird?
     
  3. auzzy_mikey

    auzzy_mikey Fapstronaut

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    Hey man. Yeah I hope they get better within the 90 days. I'm on day 79.

    My PMO habits were just normal P. In 2018, I PMO'ed 8-9 times only. But had sex a lot of times with girls. So I am starting to believe that any ejaculation fucks me up mentally.

    This shit is the most excruciating thing I have ever suffered in my life dude. Don't ever want to go through this again.
     
  4. skibum71

    skibum71 Fapstronaut

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    Ok I'm not a psychologist but if that's the case I would be very very surprised if your anxiety has anything to do with pmo, or casual sex. I think you're heading for a major disappointment if you think eliminating this will have any impact on your current issues.
    Look elsewhere...
    Also you might want to consider CBD oil for anxiety. Many people are reporting it is effective, don't know what the law is in Australia...
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2019
  5. frogs2345

    frogs2345 Fapstronaut

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    The SSRIs might help with the anxiety after a little bit. What did they put you on? Some can actually make anxiety twenty times worse. I know Lexapro did that to me and sent me into a manic episode. Part of anxiety is the inability to rid yourself of stress. Find ways to get away from everything for a little bit and focus on yourself. Removing stress and finding ways to deal with it will calm anxiety for most people.
     
  6. auzzy_mikey

    auzzy_mikey Fapstronaut

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    They put me on 20mg Fluoxetine. Yeah my anxiety got worse. Yeah I'm exercising mindfulness and trying to be aware. And fight the anxiety head on. Its getting better day by day.
     
  7. frogs2345

    frogs2345 Fapstronaut

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    Give it a couple weeks. If you aren't getting any better after then, talk to your doctor. Prozac is usually good for this, but everyone is different. Zoloft ended up working for me. Honestly I believe that SSRIs are a temporary solution for mood disorders. Unless you have some genetic thing that makes it a necessity, they usually only make it worse in the long run. What solves the issue is a lifestyle change and counseling that enables you to move past the disorder. My OCD was caused by stress, and learning to deal with it plus moving away from the environment, made the symptoms go away. Some stuff still pops up now and then because porn, apparently, can cause it and made it worse. I wish you luck, and you are in a good place here.
     
  8. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    You said you never had depression, but later you say you said you had it back in 2014-2015

    SSRIs are often prescribed with a small dose of benzos for the first few weeks because SSRIs are actually a stimulant and will make anxiety and restlessness worse.

    What you're describing, and i'm throwing a very wild guess here, is more like a bipolar thing (not saying you're bipolar but mood swings like this and this type of discourse are usually not characteristic of depression as depression is defined now). For such a situation, SSRIs can make the mood swings even worse, particularly the anxiety part.

    SSRIs will take away part of your sex drive and nofap will be easier. (not saying it's a good thing to use SSRI to make nofap easier).

    Antidepressants are massively overprescribed and all antidepressants are not a long term solution anyway.
     
  9. skibum71

    skibum71 Fapstronaut

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    Ultrafabber:
    1) SSRIs are NOT stimulants. Caffeine, amphetamine, ephedrine etc...are stimulants and belong to a completely different category of medication. Please get your facts right.
    2) OP has described symptoms of acute anxiety. Nothing he has described could be correlated with bipolar which is extreme mood swings from mania to severe depression.
     
  10. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    SSRIs are not stimulants in the same way the classic stimulants function. But they are (mood) stimulants.

    He also mentioned depression and the way he talks is a bit questionable. Like i said, it has some characteristics of a bipolar mode of functioning, bipolar doesn't only mean extreme mood swings, mania and severe depression. There's bipolar I (severe), bp2 (less severe) and Cyclothymia (even less severe). That's why i said it's bipolar-like.

    Usually those showing some signs of bipolar (without being actually bipolar) react to SSRIs with extreme anxiety.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2019
  11. frogs2345

    frogs2345 Fapstronaut

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    Actually, SSRIs stimulate nothing. The inhibit the reverse transcript or of serotonin, which thus raises the levels in the brain by default. They produce no serotonin, because then you can get serotonin sickness, which is often fatal. You still have to produce the serotonin. That's why SSRIs usually still result in depression. People continue the same lifestyle that sucks serotonin from your brain and eat junk food which overloads your brain on it. It's the same problem as porn, resulting in desensitized receptors in your brain. A drug will not fix your mood unless you use it correctly.
     
  12. Just stopped by to say that I understand what you are going through because I'm in the same boat. I wouldn't say that anxiety or depression will go away only because you pass 90 days...it is nothing like that. I'm also on antidepressants and anti anxiety pills and honestly they might work on some fronts but in general, it means changing your lifestyle 180 degrees.
    It's all an individual journey so I can give you no advices because it's not like I resolved (yet) all my problems, anyway.
    But you need to realize not to count that will pills or a long streak will solve your problems personal, health or otherwise.
    It usually means taking the long route, analyzing what you are doing wrong and make changes when possible.

    Other than that, I see a lot of similarities between you and me so I'm thinking it must have the same source of problems and probably it is resolvable.
    Best of luck to to you!
     
  13. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Technically SSRI block the reabsorption of serotonin from the synapse, which results in a temporary feeling of higher available serotonin. Which over time disappears because the receptors adapt to too much serotonin by going in standby (downregulate). Which like you said, in the long run, results in the same situation as before, but dependent on SSRI.

    But they are stimulating when they are initially in use, especially without a benzo side-by-side. They actually even increase suicidal ideation/risk in some patients.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2019
  14. skibum71

    skibum71 Fapstronaut

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    He is showing ZERO signs of any form of bipolar whatsoever. He is showing signs of acute anxiety, that's it. You risk worrying OP unnecessarily, I don't think it's helpful in the slightest.
     
  15. bken

    bken Fapstronaut

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    I'm in the same boat as OP. Anyone saying anxiety and pmo addiction are unrelated, please pack your bags. My 'panic disorder' + agoraphobia, social anxiety and depression - yes, all of it - started just two weeks after quitting pmo. I had nosebleeds from the stress. I lost everything because of it. I quit school and broke up with my girlfriend because I just couldn't cope. This PAWS shit just puts your life on hold and makes life so miserable you start wondering where along the way you deserved it.
    I've been on and off antidepressants as well. Some quick facts: they can and will ease symptoms of anxiety or depression, but will never cure them. Once you stop taking them the anxiety will come kicking back in. Antidepressants are a type of sedative drug. They zone you out enough so you can somewhat function.
    What is causing this panic and anxiety in the first place is nervous hyperactivity, very much induced by dependency and tolerance issues.

    What to me has become pretty clear is that pmo dependency will cause a serious deficiency in serotonin, after which the entire nervous system will adapt and start depending on addictive behaviors to remain somewhat balanced.. When you quit the habit causing dependency, the system can fall in on itself. I wish this was exaggerated or just a joke but unfortunately it's not. PAWS from pmo addiction is all too real and it will take a very lenghty amount of time to get the nervous system back in place. But you MUST abstain from porn, masturbation and orgasm no matter what.

    A very strange withdrawal symptom in my case has been kidney stones after all of my relapses. Food intolerances too. My anxiety around friends and family went away after about two months of hard mode. I'm currently not taking any meds and am still having trouble just functioning and interacting with strangers. It is an extremely debilitating condition to have, this anxious depression. But rest assured your pmo habit has everything to do with it.

    It would probably be best to listen to your doctors concerning the use of your meds. The most important thing is that you overcome the addiction and give your brain the time to find a new balance, this can take years without a single relapse.

    Look man it's not anxiety in the strictest sense of the word. It's not a mental condition strictly speaking but then again it is. The only reason you are afraid is because your nervous system is phyiscally overstimulated. It is what years of pmo'ing, which is a stimulant, will do. There is nothing wrong with your thoughts. You feel like crap because your sensitive brain is trying to balance but can't. In some weird way your nervous system will absorb the stimulation when you pmo, but the coming down after orgasm seems to counteract the effect for some time. But all the while the stimulation in your nerves snowballs. Only when the habit is quit the stimulation and - obviously - dependency become apparent. You can become so tolerant to stimulation from your own neurotransmitters in fact that to end the habit will make you intolerant, which is when simply existing becomes challenging. You are, for a big part, your nervous system. Without proper functioning of the nervous system even the foods you eat can become a problem.

    To me there's been life before and after quitting PMO. But it can only get better, right? This is God sending us a message bro. It's up to us to show Him we care. You are either a slave to sin, pmo or you aren't. This is more spiritual than you could ever imagine. When we waste the seed the giver of life has given us, He will be disappointed and will need to somehow get our attention. This PAWS is nothing more but a serious wake up call, for our own good, though it's hard to realize right now, you'll thank God when you can log on to your computer without being tempted to go looking for porn, for you will finally realize what porn is, a tool your enemy uses to distract you from what really matters in this life. Whatever you do, use this hell to your advantage. The time to break with your habit, your addiction, is NOW.
    Stay strong bro.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2019
  16. waltrilke

    waltrilke Fapstronaut

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  17. Hoorak

    Hoorak Fapstronaut

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    Interesting post.... Finally somethingbi can relate to. I stopped my PMO habits 1.5 years ago and my biggest withdrawal was literally crazy anxiety, basically when i try to speak to someone i am that nervous that the other person gets nervous too. This creates a very uncomfortable feeling and you and the other one just want to flee. I had minor issues with anxiety during PMO addiction, zero issues with anxiety pre PMO. I was very addicted for 7- 8 years, thought also that 90 days hardmode will make me godlike, well it didnt happen. I felt way worse on day 89. And interesting was the thing that on day 40 -45 i felt great, talking , socializing with ease, and than after day 60 i felt more and more anxious, and then the lowest point were at days 78 ahead.The anxiety was nearly unbearable. And this battle with anxiety last now for 1.5 years. And it is one of the worst feelings, to be socially isolated, or atleast avoiding contact as much as possible. I had relapses in the last 1.5 years which stopped or slowed my progress, but i feel now better then back then. I dont even know why i fear people, talking to them, they arent a threat, but i cant overcome it , it is very likely like described here, all related to the brain chemistry. Still all that makes me uncomfortable and sometimes depressed, when i think about will this anxiety ever go away.....
    But maybe also the type of porn you have been involved plays a part. Last year i fapped like 14+ times (in 2 weeks) to femdom i felt like a complete wreck, with ever growing anxiety after one week abstienece. And then after 2 months it got a bit better. I doing also the healthy lifestyle , being active, little sugar, not too much online ..... Nothing helps doing hard labour , working out sometimes. I cant get confident about people.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2019
  18. auzzy_mikey

    auzzy_mikey Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, thanks for that. I'm aware it takes a few weeks and also my symptoms may get worse in the following weeks. I'm also making lifestyle changes to ensure I make the most of this. FIngers crossed I get better soon.
     
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  19. auzzy_mikey

    auzzy_mikey Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, yeah I'm working full-time at the moment and keep going to my job everyday and also studying as well at university. I feel really anxious going to the public in the mornings on the train in peak hour traffic, but as hard as it gets, I choose to face it. I have to do shopping today and also I'm offering to drop my friend at the airport. I'm facing my anxiety head on and will not let these panic attacks/anxiety attacks get the better of me. I'm trying my hardest to face this these things head on. Also, I'm sleeping on time, exercising meditation, mindfulness, drinking lots of water, writing down things and measuring my mood on a very close basis.
     
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  20. auzzy_mikey

    auzzy_mikey Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, yeah this is the darkest chapter in my life bro. But I'd recommend that you keep continuing in school and your normal life. As much as it hurts you and no matter however much anxiety you get, it's better to face these things head on rather than running away from them. At the moment, even I have thought of dropping out of school and stop working, but no matter what, I will not surrender and I will face these things head on.

    I've been through these shitty depressive symptoms before of not enjoying anything and I have gotten through them and they have passed. Just that the anxiety for me this time has been at levels I have never suffered or experienced before. I am confident that I will never O again as any form O debilitates me. Much better to face these things head on, rather then they take hold of you.
     
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