Starting my NoFap Journey

Hello Fapstronauts,

I'm an 18 years old Swiss Guy who is sick of suffering from all the major side effects of porn. I don't know exactly when I started watching porn but I think I was about 12/13 years old, so I'm watching porn since 5 or 6 years now! I remember thinking that I will have quit porn when I'm 18 a few years back. Well I think I fooled myself. Thinking about it now really shocks the hell out of me... I tried to stop multiple times though but never achieved more than two weeks or so. Especially those tries and not holding through led me more and more towards an addiction. My porn consume is different from week to week but I would say in average 2 times a week and yes, I know this is probably not that much but I would see myself as a sensible person who is affected from things very fast. I'm now in an age when one should have built a healthy amount of self confidence. I mean I'm not a total creep or extremely anxious, but I really want to achieve a higher level of confidence (especially around women).
I tend towards depressive moods which result in very low productivity and reduces health and life experience tremendously. Mostly I live somehow outside of my own body and don't really get to experience fully what I do. This numbness which is hanging over everything I do, think or FEEL is really killing me inside and I want to do something about it.
I am in the last semester of Middle School and a lot of tests are coming up to me in the next few weeks (in fact I should be learning for the economy test at this moment) and I really don't care that much if I will make the diploma or not, which scares the shit out of me but also doesn't at the same time... I'm a self taught film music composer and I write a lot of music in my spare time, or at least I try to. My enthusiasm in composing and all my other hobbies (climbing, fitness, reading, making films and photographs, painting) has decreased enormously during the last 3-4 years which should be in the direct opposite way I assume.
Since I know that giving up porn goes much easier by also ending masturbation, I want to do the Porn and Masturbation challenge for 90 days. I had a period when I went to the gym 4-5 times a week for a year but I also lost motivation for that. I plan to take that up again because it gives me a routine which holds me from watching porn. Other than that I don't have a clue how to hold through for 90 days, which is my target because I read that this is the time my brain needs to recover from all the shit I consumed. But knowing that I'm not the only one who wants to do something about it and can't stand this anymore, already helps a lot (I hope...).

Anyway, I have to take up learning again now!

Over and out,

Dave

 

Thank you Septimus for your welcoming! I just read your post you linked in your comment and I'm impressed how detailed it is. I will definitely keep those advices in mind. Especially the point with filling the blanks (When I'm bored I will...) makes perfect sense to me and I will do that right after I've wrote this
Thanks again!

 

Thanks Dude! You too!!