Struggling with porn adicction and depression

Hi, I finally managed to open an account and embark on this journey. I have been struggling with porn and masturbation adicction since my teen years. I feel really guilty after masturbating to porn and I feel it affects my life in many ways, especially making depression come back. I feel it drains my life force, my motivation, my emotions, it makes me skip work, makes me isolate, makes me feel shameful and guilty in social settings, etc. I have gotten to the point of thinking about killing myself because I have felt like a total failure for not being able to release this addiction even though I know how much harm it does in my life. I decided to start today the 90 day reboot challenge. I am looking forward to making big changes in my life and this is one of them. I live alone and far from family and friends so this kind of online community support is crucial to me. I feel like I cannot talk about this addiction to anyone I know, not even my girlfriend. I want to talk it with her but just can't find the strength to do it. I feelso ashamed of myself. Well, starting today I declare myself fap free for the next 90 days and I hope I can continue after that. Greetings to all and thanks for creating this space. Blessings and much strength to everyone struggling with the same ir related issues. Peace!