Suicide feels like the only option here

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by Bigdog1776, Apr 26, 2020.

  1. Bigdog1776

    Bigdog1776 Fapstronaut

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    I’m just so depressed with struggling from pied that my life feels hopeless. I feel like I’ll never be cured because I’ve been at this for so long. I hate myself for getting addicted to porn and not realizing my erections were deteriorating over the years. I’m sick of all the negativity surrounding this issue and I want to be happy but I can’t help but think about all the relationships I’ve destroyed because of my problem with pied. I’ve gone 8 months no porn and have done two hardmode streaks of 45 days and 70 days separately. I wasn’t even addicted for that long (5 years) and I would never do more than 2 times a day. At the end of my pmo days I wouldn’t even get aroused to porn I would just do it because I thought it was a normal thing to do daily. I can’t believe I let myself down this hole and I feel like I was in a flatline before even starting a reboot. On day 70 hardmode I felt almost cured and nearly cried because I was so happy but then one bj sent me back into the flatline.
     
  2. Hello,

    I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling. Rebooting has its ups and downs, just like life. We see many people experiencing both the ups and downs during the reboot, and though it may be hard to see now, these feelings you are having won’t last forever. It will get better with time, if you are patient and wait.

    In the meantime, please seek professional help. I know the idea of calling a helpline might terrify you, but in times of crisis, we often need someone their to put our lives in perspective. So please contact someone who can help and don’t hang up on them. The International Association for Suicide Prevention maintains a list of suicide prevention hotlines for countries all over the world. Also, if you don’t feel up to actually talking to someone on the phone, StopSuicide maintains a list of online instant messaging and chat suicide prevention resources.

    You are not alone in this. There are ways to treat depression. Please contact people that can help you. Being depressed often makes it feel like you don’t have any more options. But that is a lie. That is just the depression talking. These feelings you have won’t last forever. We are in this with you, and we will all be cheering for you to get through this!

    -The moderation team
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2020
  3. Deadpool98

    Deadpool98 Fapstronaut

    Suicide is not the option man, don't hate yourself for the porn addiction. Learn to love yourself and give sometime to heal yourself. This addiction can be overcomed, you have already proved that with 8 months of no porn.

    I've been an addict from the age of 16 and I'm 22 now, we can overcome it if we set our minds to it.

    Please try seeking professional help before making any harsh decisions.
     
  4. ewerson18

    ewerson18 Fapstronaut

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    Me too ; /
     
    Deadpool98 likes this.
  5. golgi_

    golgi_ Fapstronaut

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    This is kinda cheesy but never fails to warm my heart up man . watching this japanese dude smile is just something else . I hope you become well love from India
     
    Deadpool98 likes this.
  6. Bigdog1776

    Bigdog1776 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for all the support. I’m just wondering how many more months it will take me to cure pied :(
     
  7. Deadpool98

    Deadpool98 Fapstronaut

    I'm not sure about the exact time it takes for that but why don't you try to enjoy the process/progress rather than wait for the end goal that's should ease your mind :)
     
    elvagoazul and Coffee Candy like this.
  8. JustAddThyme

    JustAddThyme Fapstronaut

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    Hey dude,
    Sorry for the thoughts you're having right now..

    One thing I've noticed that works for me is having other outlets for my "gratification" so for example,
    PMO was a way for me to gain instant gratification, another way is binge watching, another is giving in to your food craving right away..Although these are other ways to attain the same effect, these are extremely detrimental to our brains (Just to clarify, I am not promoting these behaviors).

    Once we give our brain a reward without having to work for it, we are programming ourselves to believe that anything is attainable without doing the work. This is dangerous because this takes away our will, determination, ambition and drive.

    What helps me to reverse the effect of instant gratification is by really understanding that anything that is worth having is worth working for. This mindset will not only help you with NoFap but will also affect other avenues of your life like getting a job, completing a degree/course or anything that requires commitment.

    It takes time and it is a fight but always remember this

    "If you don't sacrifice for what you want, what you want becomes the sacrifice"

    I hope that helps, if you have any other concerns please don't hesitate to reach out..
    Remember, God put you here because You're Worth It.


    Much love brother
     
  9. Alex__13

    Alex__13 Fapstronaut

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    My friend thinks I feel exactly what you feel ... but what you want to do is not an option, not for you. You are young and even if it lasts a long time, you are chances to heal. Believe me, my situation is much worse. You said that after 70 days of hard mode you felt healed ... even if it didn't come out try again, try 90 days ... 180 days ... the days don't matter anymore it will take months .. .maybe years but you are 22 years old, even if at 24 you will heal, you still have your whole life in front of you.
    In my opinion, only hard mode works in severe cases. Do to gym, sports to stay alone for as little as possible. Stop thinking about it, try everything you can to get busy. And even if you end up feeling healed again, don't have sex right away ... let your body stabilize so you don't get flatline again. sex only when you have an erection without manual stimulation at least 80/90%.Try it !!!
     
  10. Free your mind

    Free your mind Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, the community is here with you. We all sometimes think that suicide is the most logical way..But it's not..there is always an option..And the battle is what makes us warriors. Everything will be alright man.
     

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