suicide thoughts popping up due to relapse

I could go to multiple doctors the rest of my life and still ask why I've been depressed for so long. I'm sorry you're in that boat as well. I get rejected and friend zoned ALL the time and I don't know how I manage to get through it. Please don't think you are cursed, just refer to that idiom "There are plenty of fish in the sea" and I'm glad you stood up for yourself with that one girl. Maybe as time goes on this obsession will slowly dissipate and you will find that you love creating art and music even more along the way and your grades will get better at school. I hope you tell your parents the truth about what you want to pursue in life and more importantly call the suicide hotline next time you have thoughts like that. I like to draw pictures so it's awesome to hear another artist's viewpoints on here.

 

You are 19 years old. You have your entire life ahead of you. Bro, at least you fucking talk to girls. I've abused myself so long, I can barely go outside. I've not kissed, hugged, felt, or even shared anything close to intimacy with a woman in 1/3rd the span of your life. Stop being so hard on yourself and relax. Take a deep breath, look at yourself in the mirror, and think some positive thoughts about yourself. If you dwell on negativty and constantly put yourself down, that shit'll seep into every facet of your life. You are what you eat, you are what you do, you are what you think. Humans are creatures of habit. Jacking off to weird, nasty porn is a habit. It's a damaging habit, you know what's just as bad, or even worse? Something that is far more sinister than the porn. It's closely related and even controls the porn. It's the habit of bad, negative, self-accusatory thoughts. Quit those. You have your whole life ahead of you, live it.

Turn "my life sucks, I'm worthless" into "my life isn't where I want it to be, I will make it better."
Think positively and live positively. You have worth.

P.S., I'm super OCD and play the same damn song on loop over and over. Make that track and PM me it, I need new music!

 

Just as sasuke91 said you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Just try your best to be calm and breathe deeply when thinking upon the passions in your life. No matter what happens I wish you the best and I hope the light inside you is never extinguished.

 

Okay first off, if you don't follow your passion you will regret for the rest of your life, and you should never do something that will effect the whole of your life because of someone else's expectations, even if they are your parents.

Second off, your fucking 19, quit tripping on girls, you have your whole life to find the right woman, you shouldn't just go for every one you see that looks good anyway.

third off, relapse comes with suicidal thoughts for me too. the best way to avoid it would be not relapse. that what i am going for anyway. at least your not going on 29 with the same damn problems. Don't even think about man. Follow your passion, you have so much time to do so much it's a complete waste not to go for it. you don't have any excuses not to, just quit touching yourself.

 

I read your post and can totally relate....we have to keep telling ourselves it will get better..because it will. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. There is somebody out there who feels 10 times worse than you do and they need your help and support. Just hang in there ..I know how tough life can be..I got divorced over a year ago and have never felt so low in my entire life but you just have to trust God because self medicating with PMO and drugs and alcohol will only make you sink deeper. You're going to get through this...we all will. I just know it.

 

I've had loads of depressed, suicidal thoughts. Thankfully I'm still here.

When I hear of others going through similar things, I think of them as belonging to my team. On this team, we stand shoulder to shoulder. Yeah the world judges us. We go through shit they can't imagine and they call us weak, even though they probably couldn't survive even one of our bad days.

So let's do this. Let's be heroes.

 

Always when I feel superbad i find peolpe that have worse life than me. It works - think about disabled people - and yet they still wanna live.
Also stand like a man and say ' fuck it - ive got only one life and im gonna do what i want with it or die trying'. Never ever treat yourself as victim. Everyone struggles but we keep going keep it up bro

 

Sometimes you are better off being friends with a girl. A lot of girls don't treat their boyfriends well. Even the pretty girls you like may be a good friend to you but a total bitch to her boyfriend. Think about that.

Also if you can speak two languages then your are smarter than 80% of the people in my country. So cheer up. You have a long future ahead. Just keep doing Nofap.