I'm taking a break from this website for a while. This isn't because it's a bad website, not at all. But recently for me it has taken the opposite effect on me then I wanted it to. When I first started using this website I started to learn tricks to overcome porn addiction. I also used the panic button way more than I do now. I would use journals to track my progress. But over time things have changed. I started to use this website as a counter that I would update then log out. I stopped reporting all my relapses (which includes this morning). I almost never use the panic button. I stopped learning new important information about how to do NoFap. I realized the truth a few days ago. There isn't anything more for me to learn. I already know all the tricks and tips for me to do this journey. I just need to implement it. I have over 1000 posts on this website. What has that given me? Not much. I go on and use this website now super casually, like it is just a regular forum. It is almost become a mental masturbation for me. And it no longer keeps me from relapsing. If anything, it encourages it because it gives me the illusion that I'm trying when I'm really not giving 100% to this journey. I tell myself "if I am going onto NoFap.com then I must be serious about doing nofap" But then I masturbate to porn multiple times in a row. What a joke. Truth is, if I want to do this I just need to do it. There is no try. I guess I'll finish this off with my history with porn addiction. I started watching porn when I was 14. It started with lesbian porn which I would watch most days after school. Then somewhere along the line I started watching femdom porn. I ended up getting into basically every single sub genre of femdom you can think of. There is no reason to list them out. The more I watched them the more my confidence lowered. The more I was insecure the more I wanted to watch it. It starts to spiral out of control. I would masturbate to hours to this garbage. It has without changed my brain permanently. I'll probably always have a femdom fetish at this point. Ironically I would use this as an excuse to watch more femdom porn. I figured "I'll never cure this fetish, so why bother." I thought "why not just give in and get into a femdom relationship." (Thank God I didn't go through with it). And there are people on this website that would encourage that. Like, "if it is what you are into why not. Just don't masturbate." Are you serious? You're are missing the point. We shouldn't let our perversions and fetishes control us. That is a big reason to do NoFap. To control our urges. For me it is to be disciplined and practice chastity until I'm married. Which brings me to another problem. One of my femdom fetishes is chastity. I get turned on by the idea of being locked in a chastity cage. Not masturbating makes me feel like I'm doing that fetish which makes me horny. So I go and masturbate. A similar problem happens when I lower my gave. When a see a pretty girl in public for too long I get horny and it triggers me. But if I focus too much on looking the other way I also get horny, because it feels like I'm making her dominant. She's too amazing and her looks are too powerful. I don't deserve to even look at such an awesome creature. That's what goes on in my head. It is a lose-lose. But these are all excuses. I need to keep trying. No scratch that. I need to just do it! This is why I need to take a break from NoFap.com. It makes me overthink this and gives me an excuse to masturbate. I need to just live the lifestyle and except that I won't PMO again for a long while. This is not to discourage anyone from using this website. It can be very helpful on your road to recovery. But at this point, I have abused its purpose, and must now take a break from this website. I hope this is the time, the time I make NoFap for real. I just have to do it. It is time to quit now!