Taking a break from NoFap.com

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by TimeToQuitNow, Aug 2, 2019.

  1. I'm taking a break from this website for a while. This isn't because it's a bad website, not at all. But recently for me it has taken the opposite effect on me then I wanted it to. When I first started using this website I started to learn tricks to overcome porn addiction. I also used the panic button way more than I do now. I would use journals to track my progress. But over time things have changed.

    I started to use this website as a counter that I would update then log out. I stopped reporting all my relapses (which includes this morning). I almost never use the panic button. I stopped learning new important information about how to do NoFap. I realized the truth a few days ago. There isn't anything more for me to learn. I already know all the tricks and tips for me to do this journey. I just need to implement it.

    I have over 1000 posts on this website. What has that given me? Not much. I go on and use this website now super casually, like it is just a regular forum. It is almost become a mental masturbation for me. And it no longer keeps me from relapsing. If anything, it encourages it because it gives me the illusion that I'm trying when I'm really not giving 100% to this journey. I tell myself "if I am going onto NoFap.com then I must be serious about doing nofap" But then I masturbate to porn multiple times in a row. What a joke. Truth is, if I want to do this I just need to do it. There is no try.

    I guess I'll finish this off with my history with porn addiction. I started watching porn when I was 14. It started with lesbian porn which I would watch most days after school. Then somewhere along the line I started watching femdom porn. I ended up getting into basically every single sub genre of femdom you can think of. There is no reason to list them out. The more I watched them the more my confidence lowered. The more I was insecure the more I wanted to watch it. It starts to spiral out of control. I would masturbate to hours to this garbage. It has without changed my brain permanently. I'll probably always have a femdom fetish at this point.

    Ironically I would use this as an excuse to watch more femdom porn. I figured "I'll never cure this fetish, so why bother." I thought "why not just give in and get into a femdom relationship." (Thank God I didn't go through with it). And there are people on this website that would encourage that. Like, "if it is what you are into why not. Just don't masturbate." Are you serious? You're are missing the point. We shouldn't let our perversions and fetishes control us. That is a big reason to do NoFap. To control our urges. For me it is to be disciplined and practice chastity until I'm married. Which brings me to another problem. One of my femdom fetishes is chastity.

    I get turned on by the idea of being locked in a chastity cage. Not masturbating makes me feel like I'm doing that fetish which makes me horny. So I go and masturbate. A similar problem happens when I lower my gave. When a see a pretty girl in public for too long I get horny and it triggers me. But if I focus too much on looking the other way I also get horny, because it feels like I'm making her dominant. She's too amazing and her looks are too powerful. I don't deserve to even look at such an awesome creature. That's what goes on in my head. It is a lose-lose.

    But these are all excuses. I need to keep trying. No scratch that. I need to just do it! This is why I need to take a break from NoFap.com. It makes me overthink this and gives me an excuse to masturbate. I need to just live the lifestyle and except that I won't PMO again for a long while. This is not to discourage anyone from using this website. It can be very helpful on your road to recovery. But at this point, I have abused its purpose, and must now take a break from this website. I hope this is the time, the time I make NoFap for real. I just have to do it. It is time to quit now!
     
    porsche4life likes this.
  2. Gvn2Fly

    Gvn2Fly Fapstronaut

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    Good luck to you. My story sounds similar to you, started with lesbian porn at a very young age, moved to on to femdom (all categories), and even findom. I've made some progress in the fight against femdom addiction. and am still trying my best to rid myself of this addiction completely. If you ever need to chat with someone feel free to send me a message. I don't always check this forum anymore but will try to in case you respond. I have found that speaking with people that have a similar addiction is very helpful. After having spoken with different types of porn addicts, I think a femdom addiction is very different from just a regular porn addiction and seems like it can be harder to stop in a lot of ways. It is possible to stop though - just don't give up.
     
    Jake n Bake and Master Chips like this.
  3. Sam_ba

    Sam_ba Fapstronaut

    Thanks for sincerity.
    Can you analyse why you did not yet. touch successWhat where the causes that prevented you to go all way up you where heading to?
    Maybe helpful for us and others.

    Stay strong we do this together
     
  4. Master Chips

    Master Chips Fapstronaut

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    I am sorry man! My comment is late but I hope you read it. Trust me you will overcome this addiction. You WILL OVERCOME this fetish. You need to keep trying and never give up hope. I think you have reached once 31 days. You should keep going beyond 90 days so things start changing. I am like you who suffered a lot and still suffering. But I am improving. Dont ever give up and dont ever let your lust judge your destiny :)
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. porsche4life

    porsche4life Fapstronaut

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    Man I decided I should do the same thing and only update my journal once every week since I had way too many slip ups this past week and part of the reason is because I'm always on nofap and sometimes certain things trigger me on here. Good luck brother.
     
    Strijder likes this.
  6. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Hope things come together for you man. I get where you're coming from.

    You may find therapy helps with some of these things that trouble you. Perhaps find an understanding therapist who works with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

    This is relevant, because one of the core ideas is letting go of our good old stories in our heads "I'm not good enough", or "women are all better than me, I shouldn't look at them". All bullshit, but natural bullshit none the less. Luckily, we can practice ignoring these 'stories' when they're not helpful.

    I feel like I post here quite a bit and lack taking action in the real world, despite having a few good streaks now.

    Hopefully like you I can commit to turning this around. You're right, mental masturbation is what it can come down to if we're not careful!

    We can get 90+ days and still have the same problems we had before. Or in just a few weeks we could take on all our issues one by one - confidence, work, exercise, you name it... Less days but more progress. If we so choose.

    Lastly, I was very much into similar fetishes. One key thing I did was avoid those fetishes whenever I did relapse - therefore despite slipping up and watching porn at times - the total time I was away from femdom etc. was actually still accumulating despite that. So it's been quite a while now since I have seen that fetish, and please have faith that this interest will become less appealing over time!
     
  7. userSCP

    userSCP Fapstronaut

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    You should save up some money, and actually get dominated by a female. See if the fantasy actually matches the reality if you haven't already. If you can live out this sexual lifestyle, without PMO, I don't see why it's too harmful (as long as you cuddle, or reciprocate at the end [which you should do anyways in BDSM]). There are online groups, and pretty easy ways to get into this, that dont require fee-for-service.

    Take this test.
    It's pretty good. Take it a few times, at different times of day, or at different moods you're in. See what you stabilize at. Make sure to do the full test (dom and sub) the first time around. https://bdsmtest.org/select-mode
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2019
  8. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I was recommended to try the real thing by a sex therapist, but I've already done that. Here's my takeaway.

    - you can pay an escort to act out most fantasies, but it's much harder to find a real-life partner who's into the same

    - even though she's willing to accept money for playing, she may have zero interest in the act, which may only serve to further encourage a fetish that hardly anyone (of sound mind) is interested in

    - any hired escort service is just playing with fire for most of us - let's not get addicted to something different but much the same (in that it avoids our real life pursuits and desires)

    Guys I can only give my personal experience:

    I used to be into this fetish scene, most of it was a waste of time, I don't want to go back.

    I don't think a bit of consensual fetish play is wrong. But it will only be fulfilling in a relationship with a woman who 1) respects you, and 2) is there for the experience and not the $.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2019

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