Testimony 500+ days PMO-free (Glory to God and the Blessed Mother)

Congratulations, well done! All of heaven rejoices when a sinner comes back to God. You are being celebrated in heaven right now!

 

Glory to God!

Have you any urges or strong temptations after 500+ clean days?

 

It's so true. We got rid of pmo by the means of prayer, Sacraments etc. and it doesn't mean that we no longer need the means of salvation ( pmo salvation including). Once is more than sure - if we neglect the means of salvation we'll come back to pmo.

Have you talked about it with a priest? The best would be a spiritual director. It's because in my oppinion it's nothing bad looking at attractive women ( provided it's not porn substitutes or not an occasion to imagine dirty scenes with these women). It's normal even for healthy non addicted men, and especially young. Maybe It's time to look for a beatiful good girl, your future wife?

It's typical. What counts in life of faith is our will but not emotions. If I waited for good emotions and peace which would lead me to prayer, mass etc. then I would pray twice a month ( no more than 3 minutes) and I would not attend mass at all. But I do it because I know it's good for me and I force myself to do it. So what counts it's our will.

Yes, because if we don't try to become gradually more perfect then we fall gradually down and some day we'll wake up at the bottom watching porn and masturbating. The dog always comes back to it's vomits. Our vomits is pmo, drug addicts' vomits are drugs etc.

 

I have had some urges but in general they are fleeting and not strong. However, there have been a few rare occasions when a memory has brought back some more intense urges but prayer never fails to keep me from serious sin. It does bother me to recognize that I can still be tempted. I suppose this is evidence that I need to cling to God because my heart cannot be trusted.

 

I would see my pmo temptations ( although weak and not often) in another perspective, a positive one. Why?:
1. I know that my temptations don't necessarily base on my ( past ) sins. The source of them can be the devil. It was so in case of Jesus in the desert.
2. What would it be if I had no pmo temptations? I know the answer and it is supported by theology. I would pray much less. What to pray for if we are totally safe? Sadly such is the fallen nature of the man and God knows about it of course. So pmo temptations are a remedy for the possibility of living without God, ignoring Him. Some months ago I read that in Ukraine when new inexperienced soldiers arrive at the front line it occurs that some of them are atheists. But it's only until the first intense Russian bombardment of the trenches where the Ukrainian are. The next day all believe in God. Such is the nature of the man.
3. I know that absolute peace, freedom, joy ... won't be in this life that's why I don't expect them here. The result is I'm not bothered by pmo temptations although they are sometimes. It's for me something natural like being tired after work or sad because someone told me something unpleasant.

 

This reminds me of Romans 5:1-5
"1 Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in our hope of sharing the glory of God. 3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." RSV-CE

 

Congratulations and all the glory to Christ.

Thank you for your testimony which is a beacon for all those who struggle a lot.
You are 28 years old and have a very strong character. Very good!