The driving force behind my PMO behaviour. Misery

why don't you try online dating or something like that? It's an easier way to bypass the stress of trying to meet a person in real life and eventually you do get to meet someone.

Also if you'd like to get familiar with the process of talking to girls or work on your conversational skills, try out omegle.

If you do go out there in the real world and start talking to girls, you'll realize that even though it isn't easy, it's not as big of a deal as many people make it out to be.

You just have to deal with facing rejection. It's no big deal! No matter who you are, you'll face rejection. The sign of successful people is that they don't let rejection bring them down, and those who don't succeed usually quit too early because they didn't believe that success is waiting around the corner, but you have to go to it.

hope this helps!

 

welcome lonercub,

Honestly I used to be that way waiting for friday night.. but what I came to realize that you've got to keep your tools sharp and be ready to make a move wherever, whenever. I have been able to meet people at libraries, cafes, restaurants, on the street, liquor store, gym, grocery stores, parking lots, malls. You just have to go and do what you want to do, and not care what anyone might think. And if things don't immediately go the way you want them, then relax and don't get discouraged!

If you tell yourself that I won't find something serious, then you're already believing on it from the outset. Who knows, but someone may want something serious in a bar, too. You may not be the only one. You have to go and find out. You have to take things slowly, but always know what you want, and don't settle for less.

Also, I would recommend you to try and get comfortable and making the move. It is a really satisfying feeling to know that you wanted something (i.e. intimacy), and you took the risk of rejection and tried to escalate to intimacy. If it works out, then great!! You're on level 2, but if it doesn't then at least you ASKED! That attitude has really helped me!

Also, you may be too picky in the kind of person you want to date, and in that case, I don't know what to say except maybe make your criteria a little less strict.

 

I just realized that your counter is exactly the same as mine Way to go fellow December rebooter

Good question, and your situation is very typical. I used to be on the same ship, until I jumped off.

In regards to what to say. Depends on your conversational skills. My go to rule is to try to find something about them (ideally something they are wearing), that you can praise. You can be creative, and try and talk about some situation. Or often times, if they're sitting next to you in the train, start off with a warm Hi and smile.

You see Loner, you have to get out of your head, and forget about "waht other people or thinking" , also forget "what she is thinking" ... i don't have an internal dialogue prior to any of my approaches because it throws me off and almost makes it seem like it is a bigger thing than it is. I often think of it is an "out of body experience".. I am just going to let things flow.. I am not going to let my mind stop me, but I will use creativity.

I used to be the same way, and being the "nice guy" . The guy who is "above" chatting girls. The guy who wants a girl really bad, but will settle with "decency"... but then i said FUCK THAT SHIT!

I had that same attitude about it being wrong or rude. But we have to throw it out of the window. It would be wrong if you went and started to touch them, or smell their hair (youtube video shit).. It would be rude if you wouldn't stop talking to them after they're not interested, or if your pride gets hurt.

But simply to be the warm, friendly guy who starts off with a compliment, and engages in small talk. In my experience Loner, they drop their guard when you can talk about some other things, and if things keep moving forward and they're interested in talking too, then they'll ask you a few questions as well, and if one of you needs to leave, just say "it was a pleasure speaking to you, and I'd love to continue our conversation. can i have ur number?" If she makes up an excuse, then politely accept it, and don't insist. Remember, you can be a perfect gentleman in approaching a girl. Approaching a girl is not a lowly, rude or wrong thing to do. I don't care if anyone else believes in it, but you and I absolutely need to believe it, or else you'll suffer with guilt and shame. YOU CANNOT FEEL THAT WAY!

btw, do you live in a conservative country? Just curious, because I live in america (coastal california, to be exact), and here most guys wish they could do what I do, but they don't have the toolkit (methods, resiliency, self-appreciation), whereas I've been steadily building mine So many guys shake their heads in disbelief,envy, or give me mad props afterwards!

PS: Very unlikely girls will make approaches, and often times girls consider it an increase in their self-worth to receive the attention that we give them .Also they may be waiting for the right guy to come along, and you might go and talk to them, and they won't care where you did it, as long as you did it.. so who knows when things just might click!