The LETTER strategy to overcome rationalization

We could also try to procrastinate in our PMO? for example, when an urge arises, create a habit to just delay it more and more. Say, I'll do it later in 2 hours. Would that somehow take out the pleasure aspect to PMO?

 

yeah I'm not sure if it works either. In theory it does, but we don't PMO as a result of consciously deciding to do so. If that was the case, it would have worked. But when we PMO we're not exactly Aristotle or Immanuel Kant.
I've been trying another technique where I visualize myself responding to my cravings and arousal. I have also your problem that most of my relapses were done in th bed. That's why in my visualziations I include everything. It's worked well in preventing urges and it's also good because you learn to respond to them when they come. Also, I had an erection today thinking about some fetish but I did 30 push ups and moved on. The key is to 1. be aware of the urge 2. develop a response to it that is not sexual (such as push ups, cold shower, intense breathing), but is GLORIOUS! 3. keep being aware of the urge being in the background and do the response. I think this is sexual sublimation/transmutation. As you channel your sexual tension into your virtues of discipline, patience, and will (among other things).

I see we have similar streaks. Let's kill this!

 

Another idea would be to write a letter to yourself right after a relapse that you could read during strong urges. anything that will bring your prefrontal cortex online with a dose of reality will help.

 

I think we need to keep doing the "strong" responses for a while. Because using the intellectual or spiritual response is too risky for us while we are in our initial stages of nofap, as we are still somehow under the control of PMO urges but we don't know it. Push ups always worked for me, as it kills erections. I've achieved 24 days with push up being one of my responses. I've felt especially good, energetic, and confident after sublimating urges. Or we could do both strong and the "little energy" response that you say. You could do push ups to kill the erection and sublimate the sexual tension, and then go sit down and influence your inner world. There are many things to do. The thing is that we have to make them into a possiblity along with PMO'ing. I am certain 85% of the times we've had strong urges, we just did what we were compelled to. I think that the visualization technique I mentioned earlier is great also in that you create another possilibty in your mind in the future where urges visit. Visualizing yourself respond to urges non-sexually would soon turn into a reality. It also helps that I've responded to urges before and felt glorious after that. It's as if you remove another layer of bad influences in your life and step into a better place permenantly. Knowing that responding to urges will yied more pleasure (both in the long term, and in the fact that it's a spiritual kind of pleasure) will make us motivated to respond to them when they come.

 

Great idea, Bale. I sort of do this as well, except my letter is concentrated in a picture of my beautiful baby godson which I have sitting right next to the computer. Everytime I feel an urge I look at that picture and think how I would be betraying him if I relapsed, and how I need to beat this addiction so I can be the best godfather I can possibly be so that he will trust me enough to talk about things like sex and porn and hopefully I can teach him about the negative effects of PMO.

 

That's beautiful man! Truth and love is our strongest ally!! (you can imagine yourself, the porn star, your own (future) kid / wife all once being (and in their core still being) that beautiful baby full of innocence and promise)

 

Thank you JackStrident, that is a beautiful notion. We are all babies at nature, helpless in this world. We may think we are special, but in reality we are just as vulnerable as babies.