The most reluctant situation (for dating) I've been involved in...

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by ProphetOfDoom, Dec 15, 2017.

  1. ProphetOfDoom

    ProphetOfDoom Fapstronaut

    Greetings, NoFap community!
    My struggles with recovery from this pandemic (PMO) trace down back in 2014. Back then, I remember, I started it purely because of a certain girl I had evidently fallen in love with. Notice - an attitude, driven by and for someone else, ultimately was an irrational and wrongful approach. Being in loose ends, I had to shake my mind off just I can shapeshift my mindset - from somebody else towards myself, as the subject of the whole process of rejuvenation. Just for the chronology - I had a relationship with another girl back in 2016 with frustrating and mentally unhealthy aftermath resonance.
    Fastfowarding up until this day - recently, a very close female friend of mine revealed in front of me that she had withheld for some prolonged period of time. I had a few doubts before, but I could never had this crystal-clear look upon all those signals this girl had been sending me, both verbally and non-verbally (body language). The truth is that I was too afraid to see it because I had began fancying another girl from our company, which, in fact, is one of her best friends. My fear unleashed itself upon reality...
    Then, after some time (I didn't want to wait out anything, because I felt the need to unveil the other piece of the "mystery") I admitted to her my feelings. It turned out she had some too. The initial confusion wasn't inspirational, but I've got out of the dark yet. Apparently, skepticism and doubt have been conceived inside of me. Is it moral to pursue a romantic relationship with the girl we have mutual feelings, considering that I have NEVER had any romantic connection with my other friend, not even intimacy. Am I wrong to desire the girl I'm currently slowly falling in love with?

    All this masquerade, shall I say, has had a serious impact on my abstinence. The recent year my psychological condition has deteriorated - crippling depression has fully taken toll on me. It has created some mental blockages that obstruct me professionally, internally, socially, in university as well. Now, just an idea circling in my mind in the past few days, is to seek professional help. The reason is that my depression has become very violent, destructive and progressive, therefore I've lost any control. I've lost my hustle for writing (creative writing was my hobby and I'm currently studying journalism) and touch. Totally. I'm sharing this with you, because I think I'm looking to the last possible resorts - psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapists. I'm unable to think straight. However, let's bounce back to my main point:
    Shall I "abdicate" from the fight to win the heart of this girl, in order to restart my life (generally), or shall I maintain a parallel between my own, personal self-improvement and win her over? For the protocol: we still go out with the friend that had previously fallen in love with me, however, always in a group. A few days ago, after I shared my plan to seek a specialist, she unveiled that she got over her unrequited feelings. We still talk, chat and go out as before. Seemingly, nothing has changed in our friendship! Will I do any wrong if I search a chance for love with this other girl...
  2. I think you should maintain a parallel between your self-improvement and win her over. We all want those we care about to meet us when we are at our strongest so that they don't share our pain when we are at our weakest.

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