I’m still in recovery mode from my very heart breaking reality check. I feel like I honestly have some form of shock or something because I can’t focus on anything or keep my mind from going back to that moment on the stair way when I saw him .... watching porn and masterbating in his office so easily with the door wide open. I’m not sleeping , I’m full of worry and I honestly don’t know what to do. I love this man so very much but should I love him more than I love my self and continue to let this problem of his harm me on the inside the way it obviously is? I am in internal misery. I am finding it hard to smile at any occasion.... forget being able to relax I’m a ball of worry and hurt. I have a huge hole in my chest where my heart once was ..... thinking about it makes me want to sink my head in a bucket of water and not come back up for air . I’m still stuck on the how he could do this period let alone with me in the house. Such a disrespectful thing to do. Tonight he is out of town for work and I’m pretty sure that he stressed enough about situations st hand that there is a chance he is watching porn and masterbating right now to “ sooth” his “stress”. Makes my stomach just ache with emotion .
He's got an addiction, and it's not that he doesn't love you. He just loves porn more, sadly. You need to tell him that his lust and love for porn will eventually leave him without flesh or soul. It's really hard to break free, but i suggest you show him nofap, because it will eventually ruin both your lives and relationship. You have to talk to him and get him to see that Pmo just leads to destruction. And it will be a long battle if he does decide to do nofap, but it has to be him, his choice. The motivation within him has to be stronger than anything, he's got to want to stop this with all his heart. But for now, the first thing you can do is just point him in the right direction. Once he connects with you and directs his energy towards you instead of Porn, things will get better, but it's going to be a long tough road Stay strong
I am not sure he will ever want to quit. I am pretty sure this has been a life long problem . I am now starting to feel that he will never love anyone the way most people love ....porn and masterbating so often for so long has Made its mark . It’s sad for me to come to this realization because he is the love of my life. If he loves porn more than me it will always be the case and I am not sure I can walk this long rough road.
