Thinking about the EX

When I think about sex I sometimes always think about my ex (even though I ended the relationship) then again she was really like my first girlfriend. We had SOOO MUCH sex in our 1 year long relationship. And I came inside her almost every time, like 98% of all times. I must've put like 3 gallons of cum inside her. It was awesome. kinda ashamed to say it but I still have a video of her sucking my dick on my phone and I'll watch it at the most random moments, however I haven't seen it in a long time. I remember when I would watch porn right before i would cum, I would go to her video and pretend as if I came inside her mouth. It's been almost a year since the break up and it comes and goes those thoughts. I have failed this NOFAP mission like 5x already since starting about 4 months ago and I wanna say 2 or 3 times were because of her, I would jack off to her. Idk why i'm saying this just was in my mind.