thoughts

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Jean P., Jun 1, 2021.

  1. Jean P.

    Jean P. New Fapstronaut

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    My name is Jean and I'm 21 years old, I don't really know where to start, I started watching pornography and masturbating when I was just 12 years old. I regret having taken refuge for so many years in that addiction, I don't really know if I can quit this addiction forever, dozens of times I have tried, and I think this is the first time that I really take it seriously, I must say that pornography has damaged my vision of women, I really respect them, but sometimes I cannot control many of my thoughts, I feel that this addiction is one of the main causes of my depression and stress, I feel that this addiction has ruined a beautiful relationship of 2 years that I had with A beautiful woman, And it has ruined many other opportunities due to my nerves and my selfishness, I have not masturbated for 6 days and I really hope to get out of this addiction.
    I write all this not for someone to read it, I only write it for myself, so excuse me if the English is bad, I'm from Peru
     
  2. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    Your English is as good as any native speaker's and probably better.

    Yeah, it PMO affects a lot of things. I watched a documentary which claimed that people with this addiction must gain control of it before starting a relationship. Most people hope the addiction will go away if they can only get into a real relationship, but it doesn't and then it usually hurts the relationship.
     
    Bandyakama likes this.
  3. Buddhism Is True

    Buddhism Is True Fapstronaut

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    In my estimation, the goal to “not look at porn” is worthless. The goal is to maximize your potential. Chase excellence. Become the best version of yourself, and then become better than that. If you do this your interest in porn will drop away, you’ll meet women that help you bring your perceptions back inline with reality, and you’ll experience a happiness and a freedom you didn’t think was possible. It isn’t easy, at least not at first. But it’s worth it.
     
    Bandyakama, Vorlon, Jean P. and 2 others like this.
  4. Excellent comment!!!
     
  5. Welcome to Nofap Jean P,

    I really like your post. You're in a great place to start learning how to conquer this problem. So much growth can come from sharing. I wish you the best for your recovery. It's not easy, but learning to be patient really helps, so don't give up. Ever!

    You can. Of that there is no doubt!

    Recovery has taught me aa lot about resilience. It's as much a learned skill as it is a natural quality, at least it is for me.

    Keep fighting the good fight and the best of luck to you!
     
    Bandyakama likes this.
  6. zeke27

    zeke27 Fapstronaut

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    Don't worry, we're all here because of this. First, you have to increase your motivation and find a reason(s) to quit porn and stick to it. Willpower will do the trick but I'll be honest with you, this isn't easy, you eventually fail sometimes but you have to learn from those relapses and know what is making you to go back to that behavior. Second, update your day counter, you said 6 days without M and your counter says 12 days. Third, the first week is the most difficult, then the second is a little less harder, in week 3, you'll find yourself in a bad mood that you have to overcome if you want to strive; once you're in a month of no PMO, you will see that's easy to maintain a streak but don't get too confident because there are pitfalls, stay motivated and strong, try not to think too much just focus your mind on something else that you enjoy like talking with the family, playing games, etc. Last but not least, don't get sad, I know, it sounds hard but not impossible, when you are in your most low mood, you are in a clear disadvantage, this is when relapses occur.
     
    Bandyakama likes this.
  7. Jean P.

    Jean P. New Fapstronaut

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    I know that with effort and willpower I will be able to reach this goal, now I am on my 12th day and every day I feel more motivated and more focused on my life, thank you very much for the support, I really appreciate it. I hope you have a good day. And good luck to you too :)
     
  8. Jean P.

    Jean P. New Fapstronaut

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    I really appreciate all these tips, every information I read, every instructional video on masturbation addiction, every article I read, or every post on these forums, they help me better understand the situation and raise awareness about the subject. So thank you very much for taking the time to leave your contribution

    PS: so far, I'm on a 12-day streak, when I wrote this forum last week I was on a 6-day streak.
     
    zeke27 likes this.
  9. Bandyakama

    Bandyakama Fapstronaut

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    Don't ever give up brother, I have worked on my addiction for 11 years and well I'm somewhere over 140 days at this point (sorry lost count). If I can do it you can choose to do it too. :)
     
    Jean P. likes this.
  10. BoraxKarloff

    BoraxKarloff Fapstronaut

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    Jean, thank you for posting. I relate to all of what you said. After 90 days, I can say (actually it's my opinion) that no romantic relationship stands a chance if the guy is deep into fapping to images. I wish I'd found this place years ago.

    Good luck to you, and your English is fine.
     
  11. BoraxKarloff

    BoraxKarloff Fapstronaut

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    I like this. It helps to have something to shoot for, and a reason for shooting for it, to keep you on the ball when you feel like going back to old bad habits.

    For me, it helps to say "I'm going for 90 days because I want to have a nice, healthy, full, fat dick, not a sore, wrenched-out, dried up thing that doesn't work when I need it, even with (Rhymes with "Vitalis" and "Niagra") There is no other way to get that in the world than leaving my dick alone."

    Also, pride comes into it. I'm not anxious to show up here one day and say "Fellas, I have one day, I lost it."
     
    zeke27 and Vorlon like this.
  12. zeke27

    zeke27 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah that's right. One of the reasons of going back to bad habits is being single. I myself have been affected by that but I'm finding ways to overcome it. Bad habits such as this, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and others are just a distraction, a way to entertain the problems, not solve them.
     

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