Three Stages of Temptation

Recently read in Francis de Sales' Introduction to the Devout Life about the three stages of temptation, and I wanted to give a quick note on it because I found it helpful to this battle for purity.

Three Stages of Temptation
The three stages are: (1) The temptation proposed, (2) Delight in the temptation, (3) Consent to the temptation. There is no sin in the first, there is often sin in the second (though not necessarily), and there is always sin in the third.

St. Francis de Sales offers the illustration of a princess who is receiving unwanted advances from someone who is not her husband. The unwanted advances themselves are not sinful. If she willfully takes delight in them, that is a sin. And, of course, if she were to reciprocate this, that would be a full-fledged consent to the temptation and grievously sinful.

For us, a similar application can be made when we stumble upon an impure image, or some impure memory or thought comes into our mind. The image/thought/memory is not sinful. If we willfully take delight in that image/thought/memory, then it is a venial sin. And if we act on it by leading to PMO, it would be a grievous sin (possibly mortal, depending how impaired our wills may or may not be by addiction).

The Important Takeaway
Most important for us is the movement from stage 1 to stage 2. We are often on our guard for the movement to stage 3, but usually by then we can only overcome the temptation through great effort. It is much easier to overcome the temptation before it reaches stage 2, or right when it begins to move into stage 2.

The formal term for stage 2 is "delectation" (think "delectable"). It is related to experiencing pleasure, and often involves the will's consent in experiencing that pleasure.

This is related to, but distinct from the practice of watching your thoughts. It is more related to guarding your heart. The difference is that your thoughts have more to do with your intellect and delectation has more to do with your will.

So, there are actually 2 distinct aspects to "entertaining impure thoughts," which we all know as wrong. The first is the intellectual aspect, the thought itself. The second is the willful aspect, the pleasure consented to or rejected by the will. Too often, I think, we try to overcome impure thoughts on the intellectual level rather than on the level of the will. We try to turn our thoughts to something else, rather than firmly rejecting the pleasure of the impure thought (since paying closer attention to this, I have been able to identify much more readily the small dopamine rush from when I begin to entertain the impure thought).

Implications/Advice on Overcoming Temptation in the Moment
Our duty, then, when an impure image/thought/memory comes to us, is to reject it at the first possible moment when we realize that it is there. But St. Francis de Sales recommends one more thing, to make an Act of Love to God in the moment of temptation. In this context, I have also found it helpful to bring to mind the last time I received the Eucharist, or to make and Act of Spiritual Communion, in order to try and engage the will in this Act of Love.

This dual activity of rejecting the impure thought/pleasure, on the one hand, and choosing to love God, on the other, is a powerful combination. And it plays into other spiritual truths, that we cannot overcome sin simply by hating the sin, but by loving something (or someone) more than the sin. And also that God allows lesser sins (like impurity) to try and root out greater sins (such as our pride). By making these Acts of Love during times of temptation, it is an acknowledgement of our own powerlessness over lust, and our need for God to help us win this victory. This is a disposition of humility, which is necessary for greater holiness, which is ultimately what God wants for each of us... and incredibly, God will bring about our holiness in and through our overcoming of impurity...

Deo Gratias!