Three years into the journey- new chapter

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by newman_unleashed, Mar 8, 2016.

  1. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    @newman_unleashed Hey friend I have read your post and your history is really motivating, your background and your present really demostrate that this journey is worth, and we can do it. Thanks to share your experience and I request you to continue in this way, don't give up, mainly for you, then for your gf and finally for ours, people that your history can motivate and see you like a example.
    Go for more man, no give up.
     
  2. Peetie22

    Peetie22 Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate your story and your struggle. What you are describing is LIFE. Making healthy choices does not insulate us from all relationship pain. But as you become healthier, I believe you will attract healthier friends and develop healthier relationships. Keep getting back on the horse each time you fall off. Little by little, you are making significant progress. Thumbs Up!
     
  3. Superb_Individual237

    Superb_Individual237 Fapstronaut

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    I love your post. It gives me so much hope. I hope all is well.
     
  4. newman_unleashed

    newman_unleashed Fapstronaut

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    Still going- day 41 of my present streak. This last week has been the most difficult due to stress and feeling down, but I need these weeks to test me fully. If I can get through these times, the good times will be a breeze. I know that this time around I am actually doing things the right way. I am so much more prepared for the tests. And I am more focused- desperate even- to succeed in fully conquering this habit and making my life what I want it to be.

    10 days from now I get a vacation, so a bit of a reward at 50 days.

    Less talk. More action.
     
  5. Alex Clear

    Alex Clear Fapstronaut

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    Great job. Please update us.
     
  6. quiescence

    quiescence Fapstronaut

    I've had long streaks and then, out of the blue, I'm back to pmo.

    Last year, I was in a great place where it just seemed inconceivable to pmo. Then, within a week, I was doing it again.

    Unbelievable!

    The takeaway for me is that I'm never going to be "over it". It's always a possible temptation.

    And the reason, perhaps, is that I enjoy pmo. It's the consequences I don't like and the feeling of not having control over myself, which I dislike even more.

    The way I think of it now is as follows:

    Pmo is a solution to a problem. It's not a good solution, especially long-term, but it works temporarily.

    If I'm dealing with painful feelings of some sort, pmo makes me feel better--until it makes me feel worse.

    I have to recognize what problem I'm trying to solve with pmo and implement a better solution, one that will require more awareness, discipline, and work but is also far more satisfying in the long term.

    Just trying to avoid what is in fact a cheap, easy, and effective (temporary) solution will probably not work unless I substitute a better solution for it.

    That's my focus now: not focus on what I'm not going to do, but focus instead on what I'm going to--and why--instead.
     
  7. djmotion

    djmotion Fapstronaut

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    Congrats man!! that's awesome, I'm hoping to get a girlfriend from this but no luck so far :( too much social anxiety and not sure if NoFap will help it
     
  8. Human Lab-Rat

    Human Lab-Rat Fapstronaut

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  9. Scion90

    Scion90 Fapstronaut

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    Keep at it brother. You can do this. We all are with you
    eep
     
  10. be smart and intelligent

    be smart and intelligent Fapstronaut

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    wow
     
  11. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    This is from your first post "I don't fantasize anymore. I am in the present." I like this, it's about mindfulness. My problem is I love my fantasy's, but if I can remember to stay "present" it should help bring me back to reality. Reality is where it's at and having a healthy grip on reality should be all the motivation I need to do this. - Thank you for your wise words.
     
    Atrium_Guy likes this.
  12. Atrium_Guy

    Atrium_Guy Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for this inspiring post - amazing ALL around......
     
  13. Destroyporn

    Destroyporn Fapstronaut

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    You are great inspiration for all the guys on Nofap and you will WIN! All the best!
     
  14. newman_unleashed

    newman_unleashed Fapstronaut

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    I have not posted in over a year.
    During this time I have masturbated many times. I have looked at psubs many times. I have looked at a few nude pics a few times. I have had some good streaks, too. In fact, I just slipped up after a good streak and MO'd to some pics I looked at on the ebay app. It's horrible how our brain can get us to look for material in places one would not expect. I hate it. I immediately felt that empty guilt and anxiety. I was able to put it into perspective and remind myself that this will pass if I get to bed, rest, and do tomorrow right. This feeling is poison. It destroys one's will, self-worth, and future.

    I am back to let everyone know that I am still making progress in the fight. I DO have a clearer mind, better relationships, and better wellness. And I am ready to take the next step. For all these years the thing driving my addiction has been stress, anxiety, and low self esteem. These are not curable overnight. One must learn for himself, teach himself, and see the truth for himself. One must be convinced that there is value in your person and life. I have learned a lot and am still learning.

    I have reached a milestone in my life. After 15 years of busting my tail, I am cashing out of my career and retiring from the work grind. I am also moving out of the country. I have wanted to do this for years, but have been afraid. No more. I have prepared, and I am ready. Time to live the life that I have dreamt of living and be true to myself and my conscience. I don't know exactly where yet I will land, but that is okay. I am going to enjoy the journey, not just the destination.

    To outline what I have in mind in terms of my new life the first year, here are some goals:
    1. Spiritual routine is top priority. Study, prayer, meditation, other activities.
    2. Exercise/stretch daily
    3. Cook more, eat healthy foods
    4. Sleep 8 hours minimum
    5. Be with people and enjoy life
    6. Cultivate my creative gifts in music
    7. I will likely be learning a third language in my new country

    For all my life I have never felt worthy of living this life. I am worthy. I should live it, and now I will. As can ALL of us. This community has meant a lot to me and will continue to be. Thanks for the support. Good night.
     
    Alphamee, seba5116 and 4DCreator like this.
  15. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

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    Well, you seem to be in the habit of getting things back under control, so well done.
    Whether you keep changing location or settle somewhere, you are keeping positive and hopefully still learning.
     
  16. newman_unleashed

    newman_unleashed Fapstronaut

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    Been thinking about my last post and reflecting on what has kept me from getting over the final "hump" in my reboot. I am miles ahead of where I was when I began here on nofap. But the loneliness and negative self talk is still present with me, and I ultimately have chosen overwhelmingly to escape the present pain through masturbation (usually to psubs) instead of opening an inner dialogue with myself about what is actually happening and why I feel bad in that moment. I have missed all of these opportunities for growth beyond the same mindset that has plagued me for decades. I am focusing on letting my rational mind meet my emotional mind in a good place and working through these moments so that I can finally just say " I don't jerk off. I'm not that type of guy."
    Hit the gym hard the last couple days. It is one of my outlets. I am also keeping track of whether or not I take time out for daily meditation and spiritual things. Like a checklist of positive habits/behaviors. I bought a small pocket organinzer/planner to track this.
    Looking to make the 90 day mark and onward from there. I can be the best version of myself.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2018
    4DCreator and Hros like this.
  17. whatrichme

    whatrichme Fapstronaut

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    You will have to meet yourself sooner or later. All the best.
     
  18. k123

    k123 Fapstronaut

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    Wow! what an inspiring story,I genuinely feel happy for you and wish you all the best in life.
     
  19. naturehigh

    naturehigh Fapstronaut

    your mindset is relatable! thanks for posting!!
     
  20. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    I am sorry I wasn't reading all the long story at the beginning. How many days you have done the most on nofap journey? You doing well, not to worry, you must find love and connection. That will help you to get rid of an addiction. Otherwise, you just playing sober.
     

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