Tired of being kinda shy like this, just REALLY wanna be more confident!

Like I'm NOT shy in some areas as others.
But sometimes it gets ridiculous. Like texting or messaging a guy I like back. That sounds like such a STUPID thing to be shy about, right?
I have an online dating guy who SO far seems really nice and his latest message has asked how my Friday is going and I'm scared he's going to think I'm really boring if I mention ice skating AGAIN. I think I have mentioned it at least two or three times. Like that I wanted to go today, but it was sold out, so might go tomorrow. And that I've basically been relaxing at home today, except for a walk in the park. Like I get scared they'll think I'm really boring if I'm not always doing super amazing things?
And sometimes I DO do cool stuff but other times there is not much to say.
I showed him my cutest selfie ;-) but what if we DO meet and he thinks I'm not that cute?
I wish I DIDN'T think this way.
I've also had it a few times that a guy has shown interest and i haven't known what to do. Also, as women, we're often CONDITIONED to NOT approach guys.
And yet, over 2 years ago, I would be able to go to singles events and cos I didn't fancy the guys, it was EASY to talk to them. If a guy just wants sex, to a point HE'S easy to talk to. But if there is a chance he might want more and I LIKE him? It's like this voice is my head is saying don't blow it! don't mess this up!
I also had some crappy things happen with a guy I knew for 8 months. It ended in April 2015, but lots of things about me and him - it was REALLY toxic - have kinda shot bullet holes in my already very low self-esteem. Then I took a whole year off men, until April 2016, when I took up the online dating. But I feel like....
that mess with him and the year off which I THOUGHT would be a GOOD thing, it may have actually set me back, I don't even know how to flirt anymore.
I remember this AMAZING woman who went to speed dating and they said it wasn't happening cos there weren't enough girls. So I said to the 4 guys around me, "Let's do our OWN speed dating. How ARE you all?"
(Though I didn't fancy any of them so maybe it was easier.)
I remember the organiser of a singles event texting me weekly begging me to go to her event cos there weren't many women and I am bubbly, friendly, chatty.
I remember being on the train and giving a gorgeous guy my number. OK, it only resulted in a very short fling, but LOTS of girls were giving him the eye and got NOWHERE with him.
I remember telling a guy on the train "Sorry to say this but, you have REALLY sexy lips!" then rushing to get off the train as soon as the doors opened!
But I looked back and he was smiling SO MUCH!
Where IS the woman who did all that and said all that?
I want her BACK.
not this 'fraidy cat who is scared to even text this guy back about her day in case he thinks I am too boring for him!
Dating books make it WORSE in a way, they say, LOTS of them say "Have a full life a guy WANTS to be part of" now that is GREAT advice, but it makes me feel a bit intimidated? Like I am supposed to be some sort of action woman with the career of her dreams and a thriving social life and if I am NOT, no decent man will want me? I wish I WAS these things and maybe at some stage I will be, but still?? It kinda gives me a complex I am undate-able right now??
I've never been that confident with men I liked.
But NOW, it's like this is my WORST.
I REALLY hope NoFap (I'm only about day 26) DOES help and i am doing some programs on being more social and I will be continuing the going out in 2017.)
DAMN it! Where are Dorothy and Toto and the wizard of Oz, cos like the lion I want my courage BACK!

 

W

Well written

 

Thank you

 

Hi matey
Listen I think the guys above are to an extent over-egging things. I don't think that you need to get rid of all online stimulants or social media or dating sites (that said I'm not on social media anymore but that's because I used them to meet women a few years back - just being honest).

They are right as in you are over thinking this all. You have a guy interested who you are presumably interested too. Have you exchanged numbers? If so have you actually spoken over the phone or just texting? I have a girlfriend but one thing I used to always do once getting someone's number was arrange to call fairly soon after meeting... none of this texting for a week or so... an actual conversation. It sends a powerful signal that you are confident (even if it's not always true). Fake these things and eventually they become your reality.

Don't go to extremes the guys above had said but maybe try to show a bit of restraint and take a couple of hours completely offline a day.

I'm going to guess that when your dating prospect messages you that you reply very quickly? If so then don't. I'm not saying that you should keep him waiting too long but if you reply too soon it does give a slightly needy vibe off. Sorry I'm just shooting from the hip. Control how the dialogue takes pace and at the speed you like. If he's decent and likes you then he'll abide.

It's 2017. Time to grab it by the balls (no pun intended given we are on an abstinence site!) and get after it!