I need help. I'm on day 23 and the feelings are getting to me. Not the urges to look at porn but just the tiresome feeling of being single. I've been single for two years, had a couple one nighters. But nothing serious. My problem is I don't really know how to complete the deal. I talk to them but that's it. I'm scared of rejection and making things awkward.I feel like i would feel a lot better if I knew how to close the deal. Any suggestions? Get some balls maybe?
Closing the deal isn't your problem Needsomehelp. Nor is a lack of balls. The problem is that you have used porn to managing your sadness at being single and dull the pain. Now that you aren't doing that you are feeling those more than you have ever before. That is good! But you need to replace that emptiness now with a 'higher cause' As your brain adjusts your whole outlook will change and women will be able to sense what a catch you are. You don't need or want to 'complete the deal' in a relationship until you've started on the road to completing yourself. Otherwise you will settle for much less than you or she deserves. Instead of looking for someone out there and being scared of rejection (ie very vulnerable to some woman's whim). Look to help others in here and then look outside simply to lift an ugly girls perspective with a warm smile as you cross on the street etc. As you reach out to others and also achieve the self mastery that will empower you through outreach you will have the power you need. More importantly, you won't be so needy. It is a great feeling and I am excited for you to experience this!!
