Hi all. I'm a single, 57 year old male. I have been single for more than 20 years now and have no interest in going back to being in a relationship even to this day, for various reasons that I prefer to keep for myself. Up to last fall, I had no problem getting hard watching porn. But suddenly at that time, I totally stopped being able to get hard at all. Never in my life I've been in a situation where I masturbated compulsively. I used to do it between 1 to 3 times per week. But now it's even worse in the sense that I can go weeks before feeling the need to do it. A urologist prescribed testosterone to me and it didn't change anything. Sex therapists have told me that in order to fix this I need to connect with a woman and the drive will come back, but as I said before, I have no interest in that at all. I just want to be able to get turned on therefore get hard again when I masturbate. How can I fix this? Is it possible that masturbating on porn for decades but no more than 3 times per week could have a similar effect on the brain than masturbating on porn compulsively? Please help!!!!!
Did you lose your sex drive before quitting porn? Did you masturbate to porn and it went away right after?
Those problems are consequence from porn addiction. Pornography makes you numb to love, uninterested in women and sex. Also, it is responsible for erectile dysfunction, depression, anxiety, low energy, apathy, bad memory, attention span, etc. You can use whatever remedy, injection, tea, drink, supplement or whatever your doctor recommend you, it WON'T SOLVE IT. Your problem is in your brain, not in your genitals or testosterone. The only way to revert this damage is to completely ban pornography, masturbation and orgasm from your life. It will take weeks or months to heal, but you will be fine if you follow it with discipline.
I forgot to mention that I have used porn with masturbation for decades and never stopped, and then suddenly it just stopped turning me on, so we can say that it went away after.
I could understand the possible need to ban porn, and maybe even masturbation, but orgasm?? What if I find interest in being in a relationship again? I could have orgasms during sex with a partner!!
Sorry, I didn't expressed myself very well. Orgasm is not a problem WHEN you have it during real life sex, but it is harmful when you're masturbate with and without porn. What I'm recommending is that you abstain completely from any sexual activity for weeks (or months) until you get involuntary erections and morning wood. When we have porn induced erectile dysfunction, we want to rush the process to have sex and prove ourselves that we are still worthy on bed. But that's a wrong idea and will make you frustrated and prone to relapses. When you fell those sexual problems are halead, you can try to have sex with someone you're into it. Just don't fall on the trap of masturbating and watching porn again, it's the worst thing you can do on your life.
I still get woods, in fact it happens several times every night, even to the point that it regularly wakes me up. I do get them in the morning as well. Litterrature says that they have nothing to do with arousal in any form, it's just a reflex that comes from the spine and/or the bladder full of urine. In other words, this cannot be used as a sign of recovery or not.
Why is this a problem? If you don't have a sex drive and you don't want anyone else in your life to have sex with, than why not let it go and find something else besides MO to do with your time.
This tells you the problem isn’t your physical ability to get an erection, its your brain, it’s your inability to get erect the porn you watch. This is why with p addiction you have escalation. You need something more stimulating for your brain. I’m not sure why you’re trying to force yourself to masturbate? I doubt if you would even be able to have sex with a real woman/man at this point. You have fried your dopamine receptors.
Because masturbation on porn when I do get hard gives me great sensations, something I'm misssing a lot!!
Hey, It's good that you're seeking advice and trying to figure things out. Sometimes, it's not just one thing causing the issue, but a combination of factors. Testosterone therapy can work wonders for some guys, but it's not a guaranteed fix for everyone. As for porn, yeah, it's a touchy subject. Some folks say it can mess with your brain over time, while others don't see any problems. Personally, I've found that it can help get things going when I'm feeling a bit off, but it's not a magic cure. Since you're not keen on getting into a relationship, maybe there are other ways to get that spark back. Have you tried mixing things up a bit? Maybe exploring new fantasies or trying different kinds of stimulation could help. And therapy could be worth a shot too – sometimes talking things through with a pro can shed some light on what's going on. Hang in there, buddy. It might take some time to figure things out, but you're not alone. We're all just trying to navigate this crazy thing called life, right?
Yes it can be reversed. Stop looking at porn or anything sexual. Porn is a super stimulant and overloads your brain with dopamine, it then requires either more taboo or more shocking scenes etc. like any addiction you keep needing more and more. So you escalate, to say bondage, or trans, or bestiality, or cp. this works for a little while but pretty soon it won’t, then some people escalate in real life, strip clubs, ons, hookers. Sooner or later though none of it will work. You can definitely reverse it though and those little pills are not the answer.
I did seek therapy recently, but it ended with her advice to consider going after women again. We were supposed to do another consultation a month later but I decided to cancel it since I have no motivation for that. She did say that regardles of this decision I can contact her again in the future if I want to in order to explore other potential solutions. I think I will just do that. Thanks for you input! Just one question for you though. Do you believe fapping on porn for decades but not compulsively could have the exact same impact on the brain than recently starting to do it compulsively?
Yeah I know. Those pills only act physilogically for men that still can get aroused but cannot get enough blood flow in the penis. In regards to it being reversed, stopping porn + anything sexual for 90 days or I need to do more than that or just longer? In other words how do I know I'm healed?
