Tried this years ago, now trying it again

So, as the title suggests, I tried NoFap many years back. I lasted quite a while, not making it quite to 90 days, but getting pretty close. The last time I began, I was a late in life virgin. I was very frustrated with my situation but I had a lot of motivation to change it. I had just discovered the pick-up artist community and had committed to making a change in my life. I wanted to improve in any way that I could and I considered NoFap to be a part of that path. I was at the time, very socially anxious, and I believed that doing NoFap would be added incentive to solve that problem.

This time, however, I am nowhere near as motivated. I have long since disavowed most of the PUA material that is out there. I manage to get laid from time to time, but I still have a lot of struggles when it comes to attracting women. I have gotten over my social anxiety, but now I feel no motivation to actually try with girls. I have had such mixed results in this area that the fire is no longer there. I'm not a people-person at all; I find most interactions I have with others to be boring and insufferable. My failure to attain any consistent success with girls has left me feeling frustrated, demotivated, and bitter. Therefore, I am trying NoFap again in an attempt to motivate myself to actually try to talk to girls regularly. I am trying to make not talking to people even more painful than talking to people. I want to rewire my brain to the mindset that orgasms only get to happen when I'm with a girl. This should be real motivation for me to actively pursue more women.

I don't, nor have I ever, had a problem with pornography. I may look at it on occasion, but it is not a regular thing for me. Usually I just jack off to memories, fantasies, or a combination of the two. I do, however, certainly have an addiction to masturbation. I regularly beat off 4 - 8 times per day. My state of addiction really became clear to me on Day 1. I started NoFap last Wednesday. Even just that one day was nearly impossible to get through. I was seeing one of my regular girls the next day, so I figured it'd be easy to hold off. Still, regularly throughout the day, I had very strong cravings. It seemed like, the moment I was not occupied, it was second-nature to just go and jack off. I couldn't believe how hard it was to make it through that one day. The last time I tried this, I was a virgin, yet even then, it was easier for me to abstain. I am not being forced to do hard-mode this time around, but still, it has already been more difficult than the last time. Still, I've managed to refrain from relapsing so far.

I'm not sure how active I'll be on here, though I may stop in from time to time. Thanks for the read and good luck to you all.