Trying to turn away from old habits

Been masturbating since I was a teen. Images were a part of my stimulus, but porn use was only occasional. Thought I was in control, and just dealing with urges until I could find a wife. Found a good one, and we've been together almost 20 years. But I never could really give up the M habit entirely. Sometimes I would dip into porn, but often could get off with just mildly sexy images. Internet has considerably increased the options, and Porn remains a part of the habit. I hate the deception around this shit, and feel ashamed that with a good wife, I still turn to M and P. Lately, I have had a harder time getting aroused with her. That really makes me feel bad, and sex has become less frequent between us. I also hate the long experience I have with failure to overcome this. I'm a religious guy, and don't want to be a hypocrite.

So many resolutions and plans have fallen through that I stop believing myself. I'm not sure I fit all the categories or descriptions of addiction, but it doesn't take a genius to recognize that I would be better off without masturbation and porn. No matter what I try, I don't seem to get beyond it. So I need help, and thought I might find it here at NoFap. I may not have dived very deep in the porn pond, but I've been swimming around on the surface for a long time, and want to get out.

 

Thanks Jank. All the best on surpassing your previous best. Yeah, I have known the issue for years, and tried all sorts. Hope that the support here will help.