Urge to Crossdress/wear or look at female clothing

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by QuiggyG, Feb 9, 2020.

  1. QuiggyG

    QuiggyG Fapstronaut

    Hi guys,

    So I’ve only just started my journey into NoFap, rebooting and aiming to change my life, but there are some issues that still bother me. Before I began, I reached a high point. For about two years I had been viewing gay P and trans P, even cross dresser P. Because of that, I feel like I’ve developed some sort of OCD or at least an obsession picturing myself as a woman or wearing/looking at female clothing. Is this normal with TransOCD or HOCD? I don’t think I’m trans or feel like I’m trans, but I’ve taken a turn recently (before I joined) where I would browse images and webpages of women’s clothing, high heels, shoes, coats, dresses, tights, hair styles, hats etc etc....id even pictured myself wearing it and how my life would be different if I was born a girl. I’d even daydream about alternate realities where I’m back at school but as a girl or what it would be like to hang with boys/my old friends or being a girl in my family or even as a girl or work in a female dominant role/job (idk why I get these intrusive thoughts ).

    Anyway, I was hoping someone here could mention how an addiction to P and MO would lead to these feelings. Naturally, I’ve never had them before until I got deep into trans/gay/crossdressser genres. Before this, I never had any of these ideas or feelings. This is one of the many reasons I want to reboot and quit P for good. I have spoken to a psychologist and they don’t believe I’m trans or suffer from gender dysphoria, but the psych did not rule out possible transvestism/crossdressing fetish, needs more time to analysis me.

    Any help or answers would be appreciated.
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2020
    Becoming Jasmine likes this.
  2. gingeralan

    gingeralan Fapstronaut

    Check out a google search of HOCD, it could be porn related. You’d need to reboot for an extended period and then see if your preferences change.

    Nothing wrong with being gay, but you want to make sure that you know yourself from a good place, not when you are struggling with an addiction problem
    QuiggyG likes this.
  3. Jonnyb4

    Jonnyb4 Fapstronaut

    Just to make a point.. being gay and being trans or having a cross dressing fetish aren't really the same thing. I don't believe they are, anyways.

    @QuiggyG , I would definitely suggest the reboot approach too and see where your real preferences lie in a few months time. If it's still something that interests you then great, you can either choose to embrace it knowing it's something you really like or try to suppress as you don't want it in your life. But either way your working from a position of strength knowing it isn't something induced from porn habits.

    I was well down the same route too almost 3 months ago now. Engaging in crossdressing in private and also watching the same genres you've mentioned. After 3 months of no pmo I feel much more in control of it all, the desires for trans/cd porn etc are more or less non existent. In fact, desires for pmo are all together the same.

    I had the cross dressing thing from before porn so I think that is in a small way a part of me, but I know now that the porn use escalated it to something that wasn't me.
  4. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

    If it is a fetish it's not going to go away by stopping masturbating. You will need to do something to increase your serotonin levels in order to get rid of it.
    ivanhoe likes this.
  5. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    yes this is the thing about internet pmo the same way junk food hijacks our normal genetic tendencies and it exacerbates them to make unhealthy.

    Same with junk images, junk porn (all porn) junk internet pmo - it exacerbates our weak spots and weakens our desires for healthy ways to nurture ourselves.
    QuiggyG likes this.

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