wanna do this for my gcse’s, then forever, any pointers?

Right, here i go:

I have had a PMO addiction since i was 8 years old, before i could even ejaculate, before i had the official sex talk. The fist thing i can remember about it is googling ‘naked women’ into an incognito tab with safe search off. I then started watching porn, at age 8, humping my bed until i orgasmed. Later down the line i realised i could use my hand, but i was still so young here, maybe a year or 2 had passed. Before i was just doing it every 2 weeks or so, when i found the chance. I was maybe year 6 (about 9-10-11 for all you non-brits) when i knew i could use my hand.

I remember it starting to get worse in year 7 (11-12), my parents would leave me home alone on Wednesdays and Fridays for an hour or 2 after school because they were at work. That’s when i bumped up to an average of 2-3 a week, one on wednesday, one on friday and one when i felt like i could get away with it. I say ‘get away with it’, cause i knew it was wrong, i still do, that’s why i want to stop.

In year 8 (12-13) is when it spiralled out of control, i hit puberty in year 8 harrrrd, my hormones were all over. I already knew i could jerk off and orgasm, but i genuinely got exited when i first ejaculated, quickly followed by a ‘oh fuck how do i clean this up’. But you can sorta picture where this goes, a hormonal 12 year old who already jerked off and already watched porn. Well let’s just say my bedroom smelt like semen for most the year. Also its weird how all teens bedrooms smell like a mixture of sweat, feet, onions, and cum; off topic however. I was getting up to numbers of 4-5 nuts a day at this point. My view on the girls at school changed, and by that i mean i began to perv on them all, all the time.

Things didn’t get any better in year 9, just more of the same, if not worse.

However now i would like to talk about my only meaningful relationship throughout all my current secondary school life. 30 days, thats how long we were together, and that’s all it takes when you find the right person, those 30 days were so significant to me i still have dreams of being back in those times. It was august 2019, we broke up almost at the beginning of september 2019, i was 14, still jerking off all those times a day. We met each other through mutual friends, my current best friend (F) went to her school, long story short my best friend transferred schools because of her boyfriend in my school. But i met this girl through her. We would all hang out at a spot we liked and my and my girlfriend usually ended up being the last ones their, when we weren’t their was this other girl. Now i also found this other girl really attractive, and between the 3 of us we’d only done 1 sexual act together. I’d masturbated with my girlfriend before, once. But this one time, towards the end of august, the 3 of us decided we wanted to do it there, right there. We only masturbated to each other though, we didn’t want to take each other’s virginity as we all believed there was something more to that. So we just sorta kissed and touched each other. (i don’t wanna talk too much about this but it does link in). But that was my flaw. Significance isn’t about acts of intimacy however, there was plenty more that made that month and a bit so memorable: river swimming, rooftop star-light conversations. i think that’s the big part of what made it memorable, the conversations, i have never met a single person who i could relate to so much. But back to why this relates to PMO. It was over a late night fap that i decided i should maybe try and get with the other girl too, so i sent her a message, shoot my shot and miss miserably. Y’see i knew my girlfriend would’ve been fine with an open relationship, and possibly sharing me, because we’d talked about it, several times. (time stamp: just had began year 10) However the other girl told my girlfriend and she then asked to meet, we made out for a while and then she ended it.

I to this day still kick myself for that, and i think that’s when i sorta realised i had a PMO addiction, when it makes you do stupid things in the heat of the moment. However i never tried to stop it. September 2019 - march 2020 i continued as normal, then schools got closed down because of covid and then i could pretty much fap when i wanted. It was only until about 2 months ago (july i think) when i went cold turkey, for 5 days, then relapsed and fell harder before. Over the past 10 days i’ve managed to get myself back to 1 a day (which i see as a huge step). If i could get myself on 0 a day soon that’d be awesome, but i’d be fine with going to 1 a week for a few then going straight nofap. I even said i’d go 0 a day from today but relapsed almost instantly. You've gotta remember it’s like teaching me not to speak, or walk, or something i do without thinking. Because it became so normal to me it’s going to be so difficult to take the leap from 1 to 0 and i’d really hate myself if i went back up to 6.

please somebody give me some pointers, i’m so fed up with myself, there’s also a bit i’ve nulled out but don’t think it’s necessary to say, but if someone brings up a situation where it may be necessary ill say it. i’ve just started year 11 (15-16) now and would really like to do this for my gcse’s

i just don’t wanna fuck this up