What now?

First of all, Communicating completely with your wife is the best thing to do if you ask me, as.. if she's on your team that would definitely help you, if you don't talk it's natural for her to think that she isn't attractive or sexy(happened with me) so talk with her, open up completely as that will strengthen your bond too and she won't be hurt anymore.
As for your erection, understand this, it's not a performance, you love that woman and you want to express that. It doesn't have to be sexual all the time...you can cuddle, kiss her, engage in a lot of foreplay. Don't tense up so much and try to relax and enjoy and abstain from porn as it would worsen the situation! Stay strong brother you can do it!

 

You’re probably flat lining. It means you’re healing but need to be patient.

 

I know what your going through brother, the same happened with me, she's my everything and i never imagined something so natural like watching porn would ever cause so much trouble...so ik it sucks when your words don't match up with your erections, I've been there...but it's because your brain is desensitized from watching too much P...your dopamine levels are soo high that even if your wife was the most hottest girl on this planet you wouldn't be erect, it's not something that's wrong with her, it's your brain that's fucked up and this really isn't about how much you love her as you wouldn't be here trying to better yourself for her if you didn't love her...so what i meant by communication was telling her everyday if needed that she is perfect and all that you ever need, cz if you were in her place i think your insecurities would creep up too right?
So relax now, your doing the right thing and as for feeling numb your probably flatlining! You will be back having a lovely sexual health soon just don't give up on NoFap! Stay strong, you can do it!