What the f**k

So im drunk as fuck right now, thinking about how i screwed up, and wanting to fap really bad. I wont tho, i relapsed recently and i know it would make it even worse. Im really fucking sad because i was dating this girl i really like, like really fucking like, and i feel like i fucked up (pardon my french). Im sick of it, why do i keep messing up my chances? Im so mad at myself, i hate it, i hate it all. She is so beautiful, and so funnny and so everything, and for some stupid reason she liked me but i scared her away. I feel like the world biggest asshole, and i feel like i will never forgive myself, like this was my chance and i missed it. I guess i need some suport, and i hate that feeling but its true. I feel like i wanna isolate myself from people couse i dont wanna get hurt again, but at the same time i get so lonely, i dont even know anymore...

 

Thanks for the support man. I started journaling a while ago and it does help.

 

Thank you, i am sure there will!