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When your reasons for nofap dissolve

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by samnf1990, Jan 10, 2018.

  1. Jan 10, 2018 #1
    samnf1990

    samnf1990 Fapstronaut

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    I no longer fear strong urges. I no longer have a part of myself that resents giving up porn and yearns for it. The thing that I worry about is that every now and then, because I am doing so well and my discipline, self control and my relationship are all at peak strength, that I sometimes just think "one time won't hurt, plus it feels good..." etc.

    I forget the time lost in front of a screen and the reluctance to 'finish' because something is lacking in each video or picture I come across (insight: the thing missing is intimacy, feeling desired and feeling loved, the three things that cannot be found in P and must be sought in genuine, interpersonal and caring relationships), I forget the hurt I have caused my wife, and I forget how proud of myself I am for going PMO-free for so long (I still O with my wife, I no longer use porn or masturbate, so to me PMO is a process, P->M->O, that I have quit, not a list of three things I have quit). Every now and then it takes a little longer than usual to remind myself of these things above. I am here now to remind myself of them. Instead of being stupid and opening the gates to letting PMO negatively affect my life, my wellbeing and my relationships. Also to spread a positive message and offer reassurance to those earlier on in their journey: It is EASY to remind myself of the above, to avoid being stupid, in a way that it is not always easy to resist strong urges or to deal with the inner conflict of grieving for your PMO habits. It would not be being strong and fighting off weakness, I am simply avoiding flawed logic and faded memory of pain to allow me to slip up. I am through the worst of my recovery, and have it easy. To those in a position similar to me: don't be tempted into thinking PMO is this harmless thing. It might start out that way but the poisonous elements of the habit will soon return. It is not worth undoing all of your progress for a quick thrill, just because it is not fresh in your memory how badly PMO was hurting you and potentially those you love.

    Stay strong, stay smart.
     
    samnf1990, Jan 10, 2018
    samnf1990, Jan 10, 2018
    #1
    Jennica, Onehope, learning and 2 others like this.
  2. Jan 10, 2018 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    I try to only offer my ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) not my opinion. I'm a double winner - I'm in two programs of recovery, AA and NoFap. My AA sobriety date is 2/16/1996

    Today is my 123 day on a streak. At day 120 I changed goals and reset my counter. Not because of a relapse, but to signify a change in modes.

    My experience that might help here? In AA I kept going to meetings, greeting newcomers, volunteering to be secretary of meetings, giving out my phone number, calling people on the phone list, working as a member of the steering committee for the largest group in my home town, working five years on AA roundup steering committees in two different cities.

    My point to my experience? I had to give back to keep getting. Work. Words, encouragement, sharing my story all helped. But, we I arrived at my first meeting the lights were on, the bad coffee was made, the chairs were set up, the books were set out, there was a secretary who'd picked a speaker.

    Later, it became my turn. Same idea, just me this time.

    We need you here. We need you digging through posts and profiles, finding those who can use your ESH.

    Don't leave, don't pat the newcomer on the back, shake his hand, wish him some sincere good luck and then walk away. Stick around - you experience is invaluable. You Strength is the cement that will hold the foundations of this group together. Your Hope might be what saves just one person from online porn.

    I say this to be selfish. One day, that one person might be me.

    - L
     
    Deleted Account, Jan 10, 2018
    Deleted Account, Jan 10, 2018
    #2
    1dayattatime, GeneralismoKilgore, samnf1990 and 3 others like this.

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