Where has my life taken me?

It's been quite a while since I posted anything here. I feel like I've got something to say but I don't know how to let it out. It's been well over a year and a half since my first rejection and I feel like I developed an immunity to attraction (which is what I wanted, but I feel conflicted about it). I unintentionally got into MGTOW content- which at first was just for facts and stats about failing relationships, the broken dating world ect, before becoming women exploiting men for their own gain before finally getting myself out- but I swear that stuff messed up my perception. it doesn't help when I see all the guys in my life in relationships. I accidentally restarted my video game interests even though I thought I was done forever. I had a summer project planned out for that, but it just fell apart.

I don't know... maybe I'm just bogged down by my workload.
I feel like I see so much going on around me- but I have nothing to say because nothing really is happening around me.